Saturday, November 24, 2007
* America's Choice Bran Flakes
* Post Bran Flakes
* Kellogg's All-Bran
* Kellogg's All-Bran Complete Oat Flakes
* Sunsweet Pitted Bite Size Prunes
* Metamucil Orange smooth texture/sugar-free
I'm not saying I sense a pattern or anything, but I wonder if I've shirked my patriotic responsibilities by not having warned the pilot.
Anyway, I guess it could be worse ...
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007
INT. KITCHEN. DAY. Helen and Morty Meister are staying with their novelist/professional wiseass daughter, Ellen, and her family. It is 8:00 a.m., and Helen is seated at the kitchen table eating her breakfast of black coffee and 22 carefully-measured calories of bran flakes. She is slightly thinner than Nancy Reagan.
Her husband, MORTY, shuffles in from the guest bedroom, wearing his new slippers, which he insists are suitable for indoor wear and occasional trips to Starbucks. He stops at the doorway, waiting for his wife to look up. When she does, he speaks.
MORTY: Today is Wednesday.
HELEN: I know today is Wednesday.
MORTY: Yesterday you said it was Wednesday.
HELEN: Yesterday I said it was Tuesday.
MORTY: I said, 'Is today Wednesday?' and you said, 'Yes.'
HELEN: You said, 'Is today Tuesday?'
MORTY: Wednesday. I said, 'Is today Wednesday?'
MORTY: Yes, you told me yesterday was Wednesday.
HELEN: Why would I say that? Yesterday was Tuesday.
MORTY: Then how come I took Wednesday's medicine?
HELEN: I don't know. Yesterday was Tuesday.
ELLEN: Can you guys talk a little slower?
ELLEN: I'm taking notes for my blog.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Anyway, I guess I'm ready for their arrival. I got an email from Dad today with the subject line URGENT! I opened it in a panic, only to discover that he needed to know if I still had that thermal coffee cup he uses when he's here. He wasn't being ironic. The thought of having to drink coffee that's not still bubbling as it goes down his throat sends Dad into an anxious frenzy.
Fortunately, I found the cup. The other thing I did to prepare for their arrival was buy a flat of tissue boxes from a discount warehouse. I have to leave a box every four feet throughout the house, as Dad needs to have tissues within arm's reach at all times.
Mom's a bit easier. Two extra space heaters, a pile of blankets on the den couch, a roaring log fire and she's as good as gold. Now if only I had a fireplace ...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sure enough, her first book took off like a rocket, enthralling readers and critics alike. And now she's launching the second book in the Hell on Earth series, THE ROAD TO HELL.
I asked Jackie if she would come up with a Hollywood-style pitch for each book and here's what she said:
HELL'S BELLES is about a succubus who runs away from Hell, hides on Earth as an exotic dancer, and learns the hard way about true love. Sex, strippers,demons -- what's not to like?
In THE ROAD TO HELL, a former succubus must return to Hell to save the lives of those she loves. If she'd known love was this tough, she never would have turned her back on Lust...
I hope that whets your appetite enough to read the series that Publishers Weekly calls "sizzling paranormal." And while you do, you can feel free to picture the actors Jackie would cast in the starring roles ...
Ooh. Matt Damon as Paul, the love interest.
Ben Affleck as Roman, the slimyclub owner.
And for Jezebel...hmm. Maybe Eva Longoria. As long as she can dance.
You can buy HELL'S BELLES and THE ROAD TO HELL at your favorite chain or independent bookstore. To buy online, visit Amazon, Barnes & Noble or any cyber bookseller. For more information, or to view a really cool trailer for the new book, visit Jackie's website, jackiekessler.com.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Fortunately, Jana agreed to participate in my GCC Does Hollywood post, but first I want to share with you a quote from a recent review:
“Grab a box of Kleenexes for the laughter, sit back and enjoy. Absolutely one of the best romantic suspense novels I have ever read.” – Romance Reader at Heart
So okay, here's how Jana would pitch the book to our fictional producer:
A chronically unlucky woman takes a job as a card "cooler" at a poker tournament of criminals, upsetting the plans of a sexy undercover FBI agent who needs his target to stick around long enough to bust him for money laundering.
That's a seriously filmic plot, so I expect to see this book snatched up soon. Meanwhile, here's Jana's dream leads for the movie version:
I would love someone like Eva Mendes to play the heroine. I think she's sexy in a fun way and could totally pull of a Cajun girl.
To buy UNLUCKY, visit your local chain or independent bookstore. To purchase online, visit Amazon, Barnes & Noble, BooksAMillion or any cyber bookseller. For more information, visit Jana's website at janadeleon.com.
Before I sign off today, a special shout-out to the folks at LiteracyWorks, Inc. for the great work they do and the amazing job they did with the Baltimore Book Bash this weekend. Thanks so much for inviting me. I had a blast!Also want to send kisses to the wonderful cousins who let me crash at their beautiful home, and their amazing, accomplished daughters, one of whom blogs at http://www.maxthegirlblogger.blogspot.com/.