With apologies to Dorothy Parker

Sometime in the mid-90s, I used a famous Dorothy Parker poem as a template and wrote the piece below. It was published in the Metropolitan Diary section of The New York Times, where it was spotted by an editor from Readers Digest. She contacted me and asked if she could print it on a bookmark. I agreed, and made a hundred bucks. It was the first piece of creative writing I ever got paid for.

"Resume Redone"
By Ellen Meister

TV bores you;
The web is a fright;
Your spouse ignores you;
And hobbies are trite.
Films are offensive;
Gardens weed;
Shopping's expensive;
You might as well read.