THE SECRET SISTERSBy Joni Rodgers

Woo-hoo! A sister story! I love sister stories, whether the characters are sisters in the real or metaphorical sense. And this dark, touching, intense look at the lives of three women whose lives interconnect is the kind of novel I eat with a spoon. I can only imagine how much I'd love a movie made from this book.

So ... I'm thrilled to offer a GCC Does Hollywood blog on Joni Rodgers's brilliant THE SECRET SISTERS, which is now available in paperback. Here's how Joni would pitch the story to our fictional producer:

Three women in three kinds of prison: Pia suffers from a panic disorder, Beth’s anger and grief trap her in the past, and Lily is in a state penitentiary as the result of a fatal drunk driving accident. THE SECRET SISTERS is the braided story of how they break free.

Sounds excellent, doesn't it? Here's Joni's dream cast:



I think Ashley Judd could perfectly capture the painfully fragile Pia, who surprises herself when she discovers an inner core of strength and sensuality.



The brash, tough-talking Lily needs someone with both courage and comic timing. Sandra Bullock, maybe? Toni Collette would bring humor and humanity to totally uptight Beth.


As I was writing dialogue for the sly and sexy con artist Dalphine, I was hearing the honeylicious voice of Shohreh Aghdashloo.



I hope this book sounds as intriguing to you as it does to me. The new paperback release of THE SECRET SISTERS is in stores now. It's also available from online retailers such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Powells. For more information, visit Joni's website at jonirodgers.com, or use this widget to read an excerpt:

You're invited!

Click on image to enlarge

COUPON GIRLBy Becky Motew

Do you love Becky's cover? I do. And if that wasn't enough to snag me, the opening chapter would do the trick. I haven't even read it yet and I'm in love with this book.

So I'm happy that Becky Motew, one of the newer members of the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit, agreed to participate in my GCC does Hollywood blog. Here's how she'd pitch the book to our fictional producer:

Jeanie Callahan auditions for a community theatre production of The Sound of Music, but doesn't care what part she gets. That's because she is trying to find business owners to buy advertising from her so she can win her company's sales contest. She doesn't count on falling in love with a scoundrel director.

I wonder if our fictional producer could find a fictional director who could capture Becky's unique and hilarious voice. Anyway, here's how she'd cast it:


Whew. I'm terrible at this. My first choice for Jeanie would be Joan Cusack or Cameron Diaz or Sandra Bullock. They all have that empathetic quality and I believe could really portray a hangover.

Honestly, I don't see many movies so it's hard for me to select a cast. But Johnny Depp as the scoundrel director would be a good choice--as long as I got to visit the set every day and consult and eat lunch and make a pest of myself.


COUPON GIRL is in stores now. It's also available from online booksellers, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble and BooksAMillion. For more information, visit Becky's website at beckymotew.com.

GRAFFITI GIRLBy Kelly Parra

I'm thrilled that today's GCC Does Hollywood blog entry is about a bold new YA novel, GRAFFITI GIRL, by Kelly Parra. The book is getting great buzz, and who knows ... maybe this one really will wind up on film.

In the meantime, here's how Kelly would pitch it to our fictional producer:

GRAFFITI GIRL is about a Latina artist who is torn between two boys—one who paints classic art and the other who uses the streets as his canvas. Soon she's divided with family obligations, friendships, and her art. She realizes her newfound acceptance may come with too high a price.

And here's her dream cast:


I think Jessica Alba in her Dark Angel days would have been a great candidate for my heroine, Angel. She knows how to play tough with a soft vulnerability.



And then there is Miguel, the bad boy leader of the graffiti crew...maybe Jesse Metcalf known for Desperate Housewives and John Tucker Must Die. He's the closest to any resemblance of the Miguel in my head.


And for classic artist, Nathan...Milo Ventimiglia from Gilmore Girls and Heroes. :) Because I just like him so much!




GRAFFITI GIRLS is in stores now, so if you're shopping for a gripping YA novel, keep an eye out. It's also available from online booksellers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Powells. For more information, visit Kelly's website, kellyparra.com.

INSIDER DATING By Jennifer O'Connell

Today I'm thrilled to blog about bestselling GCC author Jennifer O'Connell. Here's what some critics have said about her work:

“Insight and humor…entertaining.”
—The Denver Post

“A poolside page-turner.”
—Cosmopolitan

“Hot.”
—Us Weekly

Her newest book is INSIDER DATING, and it's a winner. Here's the synopsis:

One woman is about to take her knack for risk management to a whole new level in Jennifer O’Connell’s new novel, INSIDER DATING (NAL Trade Paperback Original; May 1, 2007; $12.95).

Abby Dunn, barely past thirty and still reeling from her divorce, has taken herself off the dating market. Instead, she’s using her experience to turn the tables on the opposite sex by building a database to rank underperforming men and set women straight when investing their greatest asset: themselves.

Now, what started as a pet project is becoming a full-time enterprise. But while Abby’s busy hedging bets, someone is skewing her data and threatening to ruin her business. Abby is about to find out that sometimes even the savviest market wizards can be headed for a crash.

While it may be perfectly legal, nothing good can come from insider dating.

INSIDER DATING is bookstores everywhere. It's also available from online booksellers, such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Powells. For more information, visit Jennifer's website, jenniferoconnell.com.

Mom Lit event this Friday!

The Barnes & Noble in Manhasset, NY, is kicking off Mother's Day weekend with a special "Mom Lit" event this Friday evening. Featured authors include yours truly and the hilarious and mega-talented Debra Borden, whose newest book, A LITTLE BIT MARRIED, I am currently devouring. I think fans of Lolly Winston, Jennifer Weiner, Susan Isaacs and, okay, Ellen Meister, will love Debra's work. Hope you can join us!

The event is a fundraiser sponsored by the Long Island Women's Agenda, and it's hosted by the very charming Debbi Honorof, champion of the Long Island lit scene.

Here's the flyer copy they sent out:


LIWA
Long Island Women's Agenda

Cordially invites you to join us on

Friday, May 11th at 7:30 p.m.
Barnes & Noble Manhasset

1542 Northern Blvd.

Authors ELLEN MEISTER and DEBRA BORDEN believe that if you scratch the surface of suburbia, you'll uncover enough humor, heat and heartache to fill a book. And indeed they have! Join them as they discuss their popular and critically acclaimed "mom lit" novels.

Ellen Meister of Jericho, author of Secret Confessions of The Applewood PTA, and Great Neck native Debra Borden, author of A Little Bit Married and Lucky Me, will discuss the adventures and travails of women who, despite their most valiant efforts, face challenges that could only happen in suburbia!

Moderated by Debbi Honorof, Book & Author Columnist for Long Island Woman.

DAMSEL UNDER STRESS By Shanna Swendson

Happy day! I get to do another GCC does Hollywood blog entry ... and it's for a book that seems so filmic I'd be surprised is some actual producer didn't snatch it up.

Here's how the talented Shanna Swendson could imagine pitching the book to Hollywood:

A scatterbrained fairy godmother makes it tough for the girl-next-door and a hot, brainy wizard to start a relationship and stop a rogue from selling black magic on Fifth Avenue.

I may be a sucker for fairy godmother stories set in Manhattan, but that sounds like a blast! Here's how Shanna would cast it:


I think Jenna Fischer (Pam on The Office) would be great in the lead role as Katie, my heroine (but looking more like she does in real life than like she does on The Office).

Sean Maher from Firefly and the movie Serenity (he played Simon, the doctor) would be perfect as Owen, our lead wizard.


Shirley MacLaine would probably be good as the fairy godmother. She's not quite what I pictured when writing the book, but I couldn't think of an actress who fit what I pictured, and I think Shirley MacLaine does those funny ditzes who aren't necessarily as ditzy as they look very well.

Great casting, I think! But you should read the book for yourself and see if you agree. DAMSEL UNDER STRESS is at bookstores everywhere. It's also available from online booksellers such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble and BookSense. For more information, visit Shanna's website at shannaswendson.com.

Teacher Appreciation Week!

Next week is Teacher Appreciation Week. Far be it from me to tell you how to spend your money, but if you're inclined to buy your favorite teacher a gift, may I suggest a book? Perhaps a funny book? Perhaps a funny PTA-centered book that gives teachers a peek into the scandalous world of the moms that play such a large role in their lives?

Or not. Scented candles are always nice, too.



Praise from teachers ...

"Funnier and more touching than I ever could have imagined. Any teacher who's ever wondered about those PTA moms will love this book!" -- Lisa P., 3rd Grade Teacher, NY

"Masterful, brilliant … it made me yearn for such a group of friends to be surrounded by, each so complex and fully human."-- Randall B., High School English Teacher, PA

"Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA is smart, laugh-out-loud fun. Who knew the PTA could be this exciting!" -- Lauran S., Continuing Ed Teacher, VA

"Get the book, slip between the covers and have the time of your life. This is a seriously funny, engaging, endearing read."-- Mary A., Art Teacher, NY

THE SECRET IDENTITY OF DEVON DELANEY by Lauren Barnholdt

Today's GCC blog entry is devoted to author Lauren Barnholdt, whose first book for teens, REALITY CHICK, was a Teen People Can’t-Miss Pick and a New York Public Library Best Book for the Teen Age 2007. I'd bet her newest novel is going to be just as huge. Here's the summary:

Launching the new Simon and Schuster MIX line for tweens comes THE SECRET IDENTITY OF DEVON DELANEY by Lauren Barnholdt….

Mom says karma always comes around to get you, and I guess it's true. Because last summer I was a total liar, and now, right in the middle of Mr. Pritchard's third-period math class, my whole world is about to come crashing down…..

That's because while Devon was living with her grandmother for the summer, she told her "summer friend," Lexi, that she was really popular back home and dating Jared Bentley, only the most popular guy at school. Harmless lies, right? Wrong. Not when Lexi is standing at the front of Devon's class, having just moved to Devon's town. Uh-oh.

Devon knows there's only one way to handle this -- she'll just have to become popular! But how is Devon supposed to accomplish that when she's never even talked to Jared, much less dated him?! And it seems the more Devon tries to keep up her "image," the more things go wrong. Her family thinks she's nuts, her best friend won't speak to her, and, as if it's not all complicated enough, Jared starts crushing on Lexi and Devon starts crushing on Jared's best friend, Luke. It all has Devon wondering -- who is the real Devon Delaney?

Boy, this just instantly drops me right in the middle of junior high social life! I imagine it's a book any teen will love. THE SECRET IDENTITY OF DEVON DELANEY is in stores now. It's also available online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powells and BookSense. For more information, visit Lauren's website, laurenbarnholdt.com.

Secret Confessions of the Connecticut PTA

In case you don't know, your local PTA is part of a larger statewide organization, which is part of the National PTA. I never gave this much thought until recently, when the Connecticut PTA invited me to be the keynote speaker at their annual conference this year. Turns out, Sally Boske and a few of the other officers there read Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA and thought it might be fun to hear how I came to write a book about a subject near and dear to their hearts.

And so ... yesterday I got into my minivan at six a.m. and drove three hours in the rain until I reached the Clarion Hotel in Bristol, Connecticut, where the 107th Connecticut PTA Annual Convention was held.


It was worth the trip, because the group was so warm and welcoming I quickly forgot I was among strangers. I can get pretty nervous addressing such a large audience, but I felt an immediate bond. I guess they knew I was one of them, and appreciated my jokes and anecdotes. Before I knew it, my speech and reading were over, and I got to sit with Beth and Christine, two terrific ladies from the Farmington Borders who came to the conference with a healthy stock of Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA to sell. Then I got to meet a lot of attendees one-on-one as I signed books. What a great group!

The conference is a two day affair, and a lot of people asked if I was coming back the next day. Alas, Borders and I were only there for one morning, so I think I may have missed a few people. If you're one of them and you'd like a signed book, please stop by the Borders in Farmington, as I left them with a supply of autographed copies to sell in the store.

Also, I'm planning to visit individual PTAs in the fall to do fundraisers with the trade paperback edition of Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA. If your PTA would like to participate, drop me an email. I'd love to hear from you.

SO NOT THE DRAMA By Paula Chase

Cyber friends, today I'm thrilled to be blogging about the debut YA novel from Paula Chase, a talented author with yards of experience writing for teen magazines, and miles of talent. Here's the promo for the book:

SO NOT THE DRAMA [Kensington Books/Dafina for Young Readers] introduces readers ages 11+ to bright-eyed, optimist Mina Mooney, a high school freshman with nothing more on her mind than climbing the popularity ladder, until a sociology experiment to rid the world – or at least Del Rio Bay High School – of prejudice backfires. The project causes a rift between Mina and her best friend, Lizzie and sends Mina on a journey of exploration that’s both funny and eye-opening.

SO NOT THE DRAMA is about the transition from middle to high school and the impact it can have on friendship.

Set to burst on the scene with her self-proclaimed Hip Lit, Chase takes readers back to high school where cliques reign supreme and going to class…a place to be seen.

Doesn't that sound like a perfect book for teen and tween girls? I think even my nine -year-old is going to be asking for this one. (Think she's too young?) This book's been getting some serious buzz, for instance:

“Contemporary friendship story, which revels in rich diversity of race, color and class.”
—Booklist

“Readers will like the genuine dialogue.”
—Publishers Weekly

“A multi-layered story…contemporary and thoughtful.”
—Little Willow of Bildungsroman

April Girls Life magazine Book Pick

April/May Crave selection, Right On! magazine

You can buy SO NOT THE DRAMA at your local bookstore, or from any online bookseller, such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powells and BookSense. For more information, visit Paula's website, paulachasehyman.com.

Rockaway Literary Arts Festival

Friends, I'm going to be at an exciting new event on Sunday, April 22, and I hope you can come. There'll be great things going on for writers, readers and filmmakers. Here are the details:

Rockaway Literary Arts Festival
Sunday, April 22, 10am - 5pm

at Fort Tilden in the Gateway National Recreation Area
Rockaway, New York

Books & Authors
Films & Filmmakers
Poets, Editors, Agents and Booksellers

The Rockaway Literary Arts Festival of 2007 is the first ever literary event of its type in Rockaway. Brought to you by the Rockaway Music and Arts Council, it brings writers and readers, filmmakers and filmgoers together for the first time to share interests and information and provide a unique cultural experience in South Queens. Here you will find authors and various publishing professionals participating in a series of activities and panel discussions touching on the art and challenge of the literary life.

Agenda

Book Sales and Author Signings

sTudio 6 (Small Gallery)

Book sales by Borders Bookstore available all day, from 10 AM to 5 PM. Author signings scheduled as announced during the course of the day. Food and drink available for purchase in the book store area.

Panel Discussions

sTudio 7 (Main Gallery)

10:30 AM – 11:30 AM Women in Literature
Moderated by Debbi Honorof, monthly columnist on books & authors for Long Island Woman.
Panelists:
Debra (Feldman) Borden (Lucky Me; A Little Bit Married)
Carol Hoenig (Without Grace)
Ellen Meister (Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA)
Ellen Shanman (Right Before Your Eyes)
Bibi Wein (The Way Home: A Wilderness Odyssey, Yes, Escapade in El Dorado)

11:30 AM – 12:30 PM Eating Our Words (The Art of the Cookbook)
Moderated by Restaurant Consultant Michael Whiteman.
Panelists:
Arthur Schwartz (Arthur Schwartz’s New York City Food; Arthur Schwartz's Jewish Home Cooking: Yiddish recipes revisited)
Rozanne Gold (Kids Cook 1-2-3)
Brian Yarvin (Farms and Foods of the Garden State: A New Jersey Cookbook; Cucina Piemontese: The Cooking of Italy´s Piedmont; A World of Dumplings)

12:30 PM - 1:30 PM Writing on the Edge (Horror & Suspense)
Moderated by Renee Rosenberg (author of Achieving the Good Life After 50: Tools and Resources to Make it Happen).
Panelists:
John Birch AKA Jonathan Linn (Dadah Means Death; A Corpse Called Icarus)
Sarah Langan (The Keeper; The Missing/Virus )
Jay Lillie (Havana Passage; The Pacific Affair)
Thomas O'Callaghan (Bone Thief; The Screaming Room; No One Will Hear You)

1:30 PM – 2:30 PM Writing for the Ages (Historical Fiction)
Moderated by award winning novelist and poet Robert Viscusi, author of Astoria: A Novel and Professor of Literature at Brooklyn College.
Panelists:
Ellis Avery (The Teahouse Fire; The Smoke Week: September 11-21 2001)
Michael Drinkard (Green Bananas; Disobedience; Rebels; Turn Out Your Dead)
Jeff Janoda (Saga: A Novel of Medieval Iceland)
George Leal (Desire Provoketh; Horses of the Sea)
Steven Porter (Hannes Klaar; The Senator's Son)
Stuart W. Mirsky (The King of Vinland's Saga)

2:30 PM – 3:30 PM New Paradigms in Publishing
Moderated by Jim Correnti, New Voices Bookstore.
Panelists:
Stacey Barney, editor, Putnam Books for Young Readers
Michael Bourret, literary agent, Dystel & Goderich Literary Management
Roger Chiocchi, author (Mean Spirits)
Willa Correnti, co-owner/marketing director, New Voices Bookstore
John Feldcamp, CEO/founder, Xlibris Corporation
Michaela Hamilton, executive editor, Kensington
Marian Lizzi, Editor-in-Chief, Perigee Books; Senior Editor , G.P. Putnam’s Sons

3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Children's Literature
Moderated by Hoong Yee Lee Krakauer, Executive Director, Queens Council on the Arts.
Panelists:
Amalia Hoffman (Purim Goodies; Friday Night with the Pope)
Julie Markes (Shhh, Everybody’s Sleeping; Where’s the Poop?; Good Thing You’re Not an Octopus)
JT Petty (Clemency Pogue; The Squampkin Patch; The Scrivener Bees)
Bonnie Timmermann (Chocolate at the Four Seasons)
Stephen S. Yaeger (Ian and the Woodins)

Panels will be followed from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM by an AWARDS CEREMONY to recognize the winning student writers in the peninsula wide writing competition. Free one year subscriptions to Writers Digest awarded to winners, plus publication in the Rockaway Music and Arts Council Best Writing of the Rockaways Anthology, plus free publishing packages provided courtesy of iUniverse and Xlibris to the schools of the winning entries.

Screenwriting Symposium – The Literature of the Silver Screen

Ft. Tilden Post Theater

Interviews and Panel Discussions with Screenwriters and Filmmakers Moderated by George Rodman, Chair of the Brooklyn College Department of Television & Radio:

Robert Sarnoff – Documentaries: The Irish Ropes
Kevin Breslin – Documentary: Women of Rockaway
Kevin Boyle – Documentary: Wounded Warriors
Yisrael Lifschutz – H.A.G. A tongue-in-cheek feature film: An Hasidic Actor Meets Hollywood
Pamela Popeson – Mixing stage and screenwriting: The Bigger Thing and What Comes Next?
Beth Lauren – Immaculate Concoction, Getting Ned, Clean
Jennifer Callahan and Elizabeth Logan Harris – Documentary: The Bungalows of Rockaway
Jesse Moss – Full Battle Rattle
Debra Eisenstadt – The Limbo Room
Brett Morgen – Documentary: Chicago Ten

Poetry Readings in the Open Air

The Moon Stage

Original poetry readings by the authors throughout the day:

Dan Guarino
Susan Hartenstein
Robert Viscusi

Directions

ROCKAWAY CENTER FOR THE ARTS (ROCA),FORT. TILDEN, QUEENS, NY EXHIBITIONS AND MONTHLY MEETINGS By Car From Belt Parkway, Exit 11S, go straight across Marine Parkway Bridge, stay right, follow sign to Breezy Point off bridge. Make left into park at first traffic light. From Woodhaven Blvd. to Crossbay Blvd. Go over Crossbay Bridge, go west on Beach Channel Drive. Follow sign to Breezy Point (bear right). Make left into park after first traffic light (Just past the entrance to the Gil Hodges Memorial Bridge). See Mapblast for complete map and directions.

By Public Transportation From the Flatbush Ave/Brooklyn College subway stop (2 and 5 subway lines) take the Q35 to Fort Tilden. From Beach 116th Street, take the Q35 or Q22 to Fort Tilden. See the MTA for Bus and Subway maps.

For more information, please contact Stuart W. Mirsky

STAYING HOME IS A KILLER By Sarah Rosett

The talented and popular Sara Rosett is doing a cyber tour for her latest Mom Zone Mystery, STAYING HOME IS A KILLER, and I'm delighted she agreed to participate in a GCC Does Hollywood blog entry.

I asked Sara how she'd pitch the book to a busy movie studio exec, and here's what she said:

Ellie cuts clutter—in closets, that is. A professional organizer, she sorts for a living. Her ordered world is thrown into disarray when a friend’s death looks more like murder than suicide. Toss in her husband’s deployment and her daughter’s separation anxiety, and Ellie’s got to sort clues from chaos.

Sounds filmic to me! Here's how Sara would cast it:

Ellie: Sandra Bullock—because I think she'd get the blend of seriousness and humor

Mitch (Ellie’s husband): Val Kilmer—loved him in The Saint

Livvy (Ellie’s daughter): don’t know any actor this young—Livvy’s only 18 months old!

Penny (mousy art historian): I’m totally stumped on this one. It would have to be someone who’s self-effacing and not concerned about her appearance at all. (Editor's note: May I suggest Glenne Headly? She's a wonderful actress we don't get to see enough of.)

Abby (Ellie’s best friend): Kelly Ripa has the right blend of enthusiasm and the tendency to say exactly what’s on her mind, but Abby’s more of a full-figured gal with dark, curly hair.

Will (Penny’s husband): Matthew McConaughey—he’s got the lackadaisical air about him--he'd be perfect for Penny’s careless husband.

STAYING HOME IS A KILLER is available at bookstores everywhere, and from online retailers such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powells and BookSense. To learn more, visit Sara's website, sararosett.com.

Browse inside

HarperCollins has this cool new feature that lets readers browse inside their books. They call it a widget, and I just got one for my book. Here it is:

"I Like Spring"

Here's a poem my Precious Girl wrote when she was 5:

"I Like Spring"

By Emma

In spring,

Flowers are in bloom

White crocuses are my favorite

I like my bike

It has a bell

I TAKE THIS MAN By Valerie Frankel

Today I'm happy to blog about writer who's new to the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit, but has been publishing warm, funny, audacious women's fiction for years. Her name is Valerie Frankel, and if you're not familiar with her books, I urge you to give her a chance. This is one talented writer!

Here's what people have said about her:

“Valerie Frankel cracks me up! Kooky, sexy, and downright hilarious, Hex and the Single Girl had me laughing to the very last magical page” — Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries series and Size 12 Is Not Fat

“Reading a novel by Valerie Frankel is like hanging out with your favorite and funniest friend.” — Melissa Senate, author of See Jane Date

“Always wickedly entertaining!" — People magazine

"Quite simply, Frankel makes reading a blast. No premise is too outlandish and no character is without a set a flaws. The plot [of ‘I Take This Man’ is cleverly kooky and not one many authors could realistically pull off. Frankel has an endless bag of tricks that seems to get deeper—and more hilarious—with every novel."—Romantic Times

Here's a synopsis of Valerie's latest, I TAKE THIS MAN:

I TAKE THIS MAN by Valerie Frankel is a hilarious story of suspense, revenge and revelation, involving a bride, a groom, her mother and his father.

Penny Bracket has waited two years to marry her dream man, Bram Shiraz. But just as Penny’s putting on the final touches on her wedding day, she receives a note from her beloved that simply says, “Penny, I can’t go through with it. Sorry, Bram” Mortified, Penny is determined to figure out what went wrong, even if it kills her, or, preferably Bram.

Ester Bracket, Penny’s divorced mother wants Bram’s head on a platter. And she gets it: In a fit of maternal rage, Ester finds Bram as he’s packing to flee, knocks him out with a bottle of champagne, and kidnaps him to a secret room in her mansion in affluent Short Hares, New Jersey. Will Penny get the answers and revenge she’s after from Bram, who (as she may or may not discover) is locked in her attic? Will Bram’s widowed father, handsome tough guy Keith Shiraz locate his son and/or seduce Ester Bracket? Will Bram, athletic and regretful, escape both his wedding and his imprisonment in one piece? Find out in I TAKE THIS MAN.

I TAKE THIS MAN is in bookstores now, and is available from online retailers such as Amazon and Barnes & Noble. For more information, visit Valerie's website, valeriefrankel.com.

Howard Finkelstein Coke Commercial

Are you one of those small-minded individuals complaining about the anti-Semitic "Howard Finkelstein" Coke commercial that gets played ad nauseum on American Idol? Shame on you. You clearly don't appreciate the marketing genius that is Coke.

If you haven't seen the commercial, here's a synopsis:

A man and a woman are having dinner in an elegant restaurant. He puts a surprise gift on the table in front of her. She looks down, excited, only to discover it's a Coke cap.

"I should have married Howard Finkelstein," she says, disgusted.

Then the commercial cuts away to a shot of an ugly, dorky, frizzy-haired guy wearing braces and 70s-style glasses, grinning like he stupidly thinks he's hot stuff. For the slow, the name "Howard" flashes on the screen.

The not-so-subtle subtext here is that if the woman knew her husband was going to be so cheap, she may as well have married the Jew-boy. The sub-subtext is that Jew-boys are ugly, frizzy-haired geeks.

But the commercial has a happy ending, as the bottlecap magically morphs into airplane tickets to an exotic locale. The woman then throws her arms around her husband in inappropriate sexual abandon, happy that she didn't marry Howard Finkelstein, who they cut away to again for comic affect. He's so clueless he's still grinning. Hahaha. Those Jews. They really don't get it. What a kneeslapper.

Only the brilliant minds behind today's edgiest young ad agencies could have produced something this stunning in its visual impact, entertainment value and subtle poke at cheapass Jews. Here's the scene I imagine as the crack creative team at Young, Younger and Dimwad conceptualized these 30 seconds of historic genius ...

Dramatis Personae: BRAD YOUNG, agency founder, age 25; MADISON YOUNGER, VP/Account Executive, age 22; TY DIMWAD, copywriter, age 15.

BRAD: Coke wants us to come up with something funny and edgy for their new bottlecap promotion.

MADISON: And it has to like, rock? They're like our biggest account?

TY: I've been tinkering with some ideas to get across how big the prizes are and how little you have to invest.

BRAD: Brilliant!

MADISON: You're like a genius?

TY: I didn't tell you my idea yet.

BRAD: We're listening.

TY: (He closes the Nintendo DS he's been playing, then gets up and starts to pace. BRAD and MADISON follow him with their eyes.) So I think we want to say that with this giveaway, even a tightwad can win a great vacation.

BRAD (steeples his fingers) Go on.

TY: So there's woman, we'll call her Shirley Finkelstein, and she's having a birthday party. Her husband comes in with a present and as she opens it she says, "It better not be something cheap like last year, Moishe." Of course, she's all pissed off when she sees it's a Coke bottlecap, but then she looks inside and ... it's two plane tickets to Hawaii!

MADISON: I love it! It's like way cool!

BRAD: Me, too, but ... I don't know. The whole Jew thing could be touchy.

MADISON: I hadn't thought of that?

TY: Okay, what if it's not Shirley and Moishe, but some other woman who almost married Moishe?

BRAD: What religion is this woman?

TY: (Looks at the ceiling for inspiration) She's no religion, all religions, she's ... everywoman.

BRAD: (Leans in) I like. Talk more.

TY: So her husband--who's clearly not a Jew--gives her a Coke cap. Are you with me? I mean, it's not anti-Semitic if the cheap guy's not a Jew, right?

(BRAD and MADISON nod. TY continues ...)

So she's so disappointed when she sees the bottlecap she says, "I should have married Moishe!"

MADISON: (Jumping from her chair) Rad!

BRAD: Love it! But I don't know if the name Moishe will play in Middle America.

TY: (Waves his concern away) No prob, boss. We can change it to whatever you want, like Donald. Donald Finkelstein.

BRAD: (Sucks air and looks worried) Coke's chairman of the board is named Donald.

TY: It's doesn't have to be Moishe or Donald. It can be any name. Pick one.

BRAD: (Excited) How about Howard? I had a Jewish roommate once named Howard.

MADISON: Howard! Howard! Oh, that's just so cool? Maybe we can get Howard Stern to play the Jew!

BRAD: (Looks at TY) What do you think?

TY: We could try. If not, we could always get a lookalike.

BRAD: (Stands and pats TY on the back.) Excellent. You did it again, Ty. I love you, man.

TY: (Goes back to playing his Nintendo DS) Love you, too, boss.

-end-

Don't you feel all warm inside now, filled with hope for America's future? Let's all join hands and sing ...

I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love,
Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.
I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony,
I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company



UPDATE: Thanks to vp's blog, you can now view the commercial online.

Local press

Thanks to Sue Henderson for coming with me (on one of the iciest days of the year) and snapping the picture!

Click on image to enlarge.

New interview today

Writer Kelly Spitzer posted an interview with me today on her Writer Profile Project blog. You can read it here.

Visit BRAVA!

Today on BRAVA! my featured guest is mom/sculptor Helene K. Sherman. Check it out:
BRAVA!

SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLDBy Melanie Lynne Hauser

Today I have the pleasure of blogging about one of my favorite GCC authors, Melanie Lynne Hauser. Melanie has a brand new book out called SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLD, which is a follow up to her previous novel, CONFESSIONS OF SUPER MOM. The first book, which I had the pleasure of reading, is so kickass that a movie studio came along and gobbled up the rights. Alas, that means I can't do one of my GCC Does Hollywood blog entries for her, as it could land Melanie in hot water that her all her superpowers couldn't save her from. So instead I'll give you some highlights and my own 5-star recommendation to buy and read this book.

According to the press release, here's what it's about:

It's six months after the Horrible Swiffer Accident that left her a superhero, and Birdie Lee is still adjusting. For starters, she's hearing voices and having lustful thoughts about Mr. Clean. Then there's the fact that her daughter is suddenly sporting a bright pink streak in her hair, courtesy of her new friend Vienna (and if recent history has taught us anything, we all know that a girl named after a foreign city is going to be trouble). Birdie's son is experiencing his first case of puppy love, her nerdy scientist love interest has just proposed marriage, and her annoying ex-husband is suddenly less annoying. Which can only mean he's up to no good.

But things get even more sinister when her hometown of Astro Park gets Little League fever in a big way. Rabid parents, performance-enhancing Gatorade and a domed stadium on shaky - potentially explosive - ground are just the beginning of Super Mom's problems; throw in a ticked off school janitor and a corrupt mayor, and Super Mom has her hands full. Can one superhero — one mother — struggle to keep her teenagers in tow with one hand while saving her hometown from disaster with the other — while trying to find time for herself as she plans her marriage to her very own Super Man? Only if she’s Super Mom!

And if you don't trust me when I tell you that Melanie is a funny and powerful writer, read what other folks have to say:

Smart, zany, and touching... (Karen Quinn, author of The Ivy Chronicles) Never has there been a more appealingly down-to-earth heroine or a superhero with more enviable powers. (Pamela Redmond Satran, author of Suburbanistas) Hauser's quirky characters sparkle brightly as a newly Swiffered floor, and her writing shines like freshly polished glass. (Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries and Queen of Babble)

“(Super Mom Saves the World) provides a welcome break from the proliferation of urban mommy books. For those who rely on Fresh Direct and nannies to run a household, this will read like a foreign text. The women in Hauser's world clean their own toilets, volunteer for the PTA and bake a mean tuna casserole.” Kirkus Reviews

“Hauser's sequel to Confessions of Super Mom (2005) is an amusing and sharp critique of the thankless job mothers perform as they juggle home and work. Every mom will want to be Super Mom.” Booklist

SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLD is available at your favorite bookstore, as well as from amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, BookSense and other online booksellers. To learn more, visit Melanie's website at melanielynnehauser.com.

And now here's a bonus. Click below to hear the super adorable Melanie read an excerpt from her first book ...

Call for submissions

Writer friends, here's a heads up. My pal Jordan Rosenfeld is looking for 300-word essays from writers on the topic of Revision (I'd enter myself, but I'm too busy ... er ... revising). For more information, head on over to Jordan's blog.

Book & Author Tea: The Recap

What a great day I had! As far as I'm concerned, the first ever Book & Author Tea, sponsored by the Long Island Women's Agenda and Long Island Woman Magazine, was a smashing success.

The program was the brainchild of Debbi Honorof, former board member of LIWA and currently the book review editor/reporter for Long Island Woman Magazine. I met Debbi when she interviewed me for the publication. She's a terrific lady and we became fast friends. Shortly after that she told me about this idea she had for doing an event for Long Island women authors. The next thing I knew, the event was organized, complete with corporate sponsors (Stony Brook, Astoria Federal Savings, and NEFCU), a venue, an impressive roster of authors I was honored to be among, and a kickass publicity campaign. Is that not amazing? I'm just in awe of Debbi and so proud to be her friend.

There were about 120 attendees at today's event, which is extraordinary considering the fact that the cost was $55 a seat. (In my experience, it's hard to get people to show up for a free reading, let alone one with a pricetag!) Erica Garay of LIWA welcomed the crowd and introduced Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy, who made the opening remarks. (In case you don't know, she's a local hero here on Long Island. In 1993, after a crazed gunman on the Long Island Rail Road shot and killed her husband and injured her son, she was thrust into the limelight and later into activism in gun control, which led to a political career. As a personal aside, my sister was on that train, in another car. But that's a story for another day.)

Debbi Honorof then moderated a panel discussion among fiction authors Cynthia Baxter (REIGNING CATS AND DOGS MYSTERY SERIES), Carol Hoenig (WITHOUT GRACE), Victoria Lustbader (HIDDEN), Alyson Richman (THE LAST VAN GOGH) and yours truly (SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA). We each got to read a small snippet from our books, answer questions from the moderator and then took questions from a very literate and engaging audience.

That was followed by Erika Duncan, founder of Herstory, explaining her bold and fascinating women's writing program.

After that we signed books and chatted with the attendees, before Debbi interviewed the inspiring Brooke Ellison about her memoir (MIRACLES HAPPEN). Brooke read a passage that was so powerful and poignant it seemed like everyone in the room was moved to tears.

Following Brooke's reading, Debbi interviewed Delthia Ricks, author of BREAST CANCER BASICS AND BEYOND, about writing nonfiction.

I hope the folks attending the event had as much fun as I did. I met wonderful people--from sponsors to authors to attendees--and am so grateful to have been included. If the event is repeated next year, I urge everyone in the area to attend. It was unforgettable.

Enter the "I WANT A FREAKING CHARACTER NAMED AFTER ME!" drawing

Announcing a brand new promotion! I'm calling it the "I Want A Freaking Character Named After Me!" Drawing.

It's your opportunity to curse like an angry housewife and have a chance to be immortalized in print ... all with one simple email.

Anyone who's read Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA will have an easy time entering. Here's how it works ...*

1) Send an email to me at win (at) ellenmeister (dot) com

2) In the subject line, type in Maddie's favorite multi-syllable curse (you know the one--it's three words all strung together)

3) In the body of the email, type in your name as you'd like it to appear in my next book

That's it! After May 31, 2007, all entries with the correct curse phrase will be entered into a drawing. One lucky winner will get a character named for them in my next novel.

Good luck ... and happy cursing!



* One entry per person, and you must be 18 or over.

Book & Author Tea ... THIS SUNDAY!

If you're in or near Melville, Long Island this Sunday, I hope you'll join us for the first ever Book & Author Tea, an exciting fundraiser for the Long Island Women's Agenda (LIWA). I'm thrilled that I was asked to sit on a panel with these esteemed Long Island women authors, and I hope you can come!

Here are the details:


BOOK & AUTHOR TEA
Sunday, March 11, 2007
2:00 pm - 5:00 pm
The Melville Marriott Hotel
$45 LIWA Members – $55 Non-Members

Opening remarks: Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy
Featured authors include:
CYNTHIA BAXTER, “Reigning Cats & Dogs” Mysteries
BROOKE ELLISON, The Brooke Ellison Story
CAROL HOENIG, Without Grace
VICTORIA LUSTBADER, Hidden
ELLEN MEISTER, Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA
ALYSON RICHMAN, The Last Van Gogh
DELTHIA RICKS, Breast Cancer Basics & Beyond
Plus...a presentation by ERIKA DUNCAN, Founder of HERSTORY WRITERS WORKSHOP
Moderated by DEBBI HONOROF, “Book Corner” Columnist, Long Island Woman

For more information or to register, click here.

Good morning, sunshine!

Actual breakfast table dialogue with Precious Girl, age 9:

"What do you want for breakfast, Precious Girl?"

"Nothing. I'm too tired."

"Can I get you some Cheerios?"

"No. I'm not hungry."

"Oatmeal?"

"No."

"How about a waffle?"

"I'm not hungry. I'm too tired."

"I'll make you a slice of toast with butter and salt."

"No."

"What do you want, then?"

"Nothing. I'm not hungry."

"The bus is coming soon."

"I don't care. I'm not hungry."

"I'll let you have Trix yogurt."

"I don't want anything."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

(pause)

"Better get your coat on. I hear the bus."

"What?"

"I said the bus is coming. You have to go to school now."

"Without breakfast?"

TGIF ... BTKGBTSOM

If you're a mom whose kids have been off from school this week, you can probably figure out what the letters above stand for. If not, take a minute to figure it out and then scroll down for the answer.*

A few odds and ends for today ...

• If you're a Susan Isaacs fan and plan on being on Long Island tonight, pop on over to Book Revue, where she'll be doing a reading and signing. My pal Susan Henderson and I will be there among the throngs.

• If you watch American Idol and want to read the you'll the funniest, snarkiest, smartest and most insightful recaps in the blogosphere, bookmark Susan DiPlacido's blog.

• Just to prove that I know people who aren't named Susan, I'll direct you to my Brava! blog, which now features an interview with someone named Amanda Ashby. I hope you'll check it out.

* Thank God it's Friday ... because the kids go back to school on Monday.

Mini-interview on Trashionista today

It's a quickie!

CHINA DOLLS by Michelle Yu and Blossom Kan

Today's Girlfriends Cyber Circuit meets Hollywood entry travels east ... to Manhattan, the setting for an exciting new novel Publishers Weekly calls a "fizzy debut" about "three Chinese-American 20-somethings [pursuing] careers and Mr. Right in ultracompetitive New York City." Here's how the authors would pitch it to a fictional Hollywood producer:

Joy Luck Club meets Sex in the City.

That's what I call a pitch! Here's how they cast it:



M.J. - Kelly Hu (cute but kicks butt)





Alex - Lucy Lui (fiery, tough as nails)




Lin - Zhang Zhiyi (beautiful and delicate)



CHINA DOLLS sounds like a smart, fun, sexy read, and I hope you'll check it out. It's in stores now. For more information, visit the website at chinadollsnovel.com.

Eureka!

Today I discovered that if you wake up with a terrible migraine and pad out of bed to make yourself some coffee because you think the caffeine with help, and then accidentally pour boiling water all over your hand, giving yourself a large area of second degree burns, your migraine will go away. How do you like that? I've discovered a cure.

More later ...

Brava!

Announcement!

I now have a MySpace blog. It's called Brava! and it's dedicated to giving mothers their well-deserved moment in the spotlight. Inspired by James Lipton's Inside the Actor's Studio, the site asks a set of questions—including the famous Bernard Pivot interview—designed to offer an inside glimpse at these glorious women.

Visit Brava!

Make me your MySpace friend.

Love ... at the Canadian Writers Collective

February is love month at the Canadian Writers Collective, and I'm honored that they asked me to be today's guest blogger: We'll Call Her Sarah

Trashionista!

Hey, they're talking about me over at the very adorable and very popular Trashionista.com. Click: Ellen and George (and Matthew?)

George Clooney is NOT the sexiest man alive?

Well knock me over with a feather. I tallied up the results of my recent website survey, where I asked PTA members the following question:

In Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA, a Hollywood studio announces plans to shoot a major motion picture in the local schoolyard. When the women in the town learn that it means they might have a chance to meet George Clooney, decorum crumbles like a cupcake from last week's bake sale. What if this was your home town? If you could choose which Hollywood leading man you'd most like to offer your cupcakes to, who would it be?

Since I based an entire novel on the premise that George Clooney is the single hottest man in the universe, I expected him to win in a landslide. Imagine my surprise when he came in a distant second to pretty Matthew McConaughey. Not there's anything wrong with Matthew McConaughey. He's a perfectly beautiful-looking man. But more desirable than George Clooney? Smart, gorgeous, funny, talented, politically- savvy, Darfur-conscious George Clooney? (I worked myself into a lather just writing that list.)

But okay. The numbers don't lie. In my little survey, only 2 out of 10 women wanted to offer George Clooney a chance to lick their buttercream frosting. Here then are the results:



1. Matthew McConaughey (39%)




2. George Clooney (21%)



3. Patrick Dempsey (15%)


4. Orlando Bloom (12%)

5. Johnny Depp (9%)

Receiving less than 1% each were: Antonio Banderas, Tom Cruise, James Denton, Jamie Foxx, Adrian Grenier, Brad Pitt, and Denzel Washington.

For information on who won the fabulous prize offered to those who took this survey, click here.

YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE FUNNY by Phil Rosenthal

I picked up this memoir by Phil Rosenthal, creator of TV's Everybody Loves Raymond, for research, as there's a character in my novel-in-progress who's a comedy writer and I thought it might have some good info for me. My intention was to skim it and move on.

But after one page I knew I wasn't putting down this book until I'd read every delicious word. It's not only hilarious, but so charming I feel like I've just spent a vacation with a favorite friend. A very smart, very funny favorite friend. Plus, it taught me more about the inside world of sitcoms than I'd even hoped. For instance, it helped me to understand why--despite talent, hard work and vision--it's nearly impossible to get a quality show like Everybody Loves Raymond on network television.

But honestly, even if you're just in it for the laughs, this book is worth the price. Hell, the fruit-of-the-month story alone is enough to make me recommend it. And that's not even the funniest part (for my money, it's his description of the "all-inclusive" vacation from hell). My only complaint about it is the ugly cover. This treasure of a book deserves better.

And oh ... I see that it's available in audio format, narrated by the author. I just played the clip and he's got this delightfully anachronistic Old New York accent. Sounds like a cross between Top Cat and Nicely Nicely from Guys and Dolls. To hear a clip, click here, and then on the button under the cover image.




ETA:
My friend Robin Slick wrote a funny and insightful review of Neil Gaiman's new book, Fragile Things, on Susan Henderson's Litpark. Check it out!