What would YOU do if you ruled the world?

My blog post is up over at the Girlfriends Book Club blog. It's called IF I RULED THE WORLD. Check it out.

ME AND BASEBALL A very short play

ME: It's not that I don't want the Yankees to win. It's just that I'd like the Red Sox to win, too.

MIKE:

ME: I have a lot of friends who are Red Sox fans.

MIKE:

ME: It means so much to them, you see.

MIKE:

ME: I guess I'm not what you'd call a true fan.

MIKE: Honey, you're the opposite of a fan.

Also at my t-shirt store ...

An original poem! (Well, using Dorothy Parker's "Resume" as a template. Consider it an homage.)

Click here to order. You can customize it for any style or color.

Why you don't have to worry about someone stealing your work

One of the most common questions I get from aspiring authors pertains to protecting their work from plagiarism. I can't speak for screenwriting, but in the publishing world it's a misplaced worry.

As a writer, you simply have to take a leap of faith that no one wants to steal your work. It just doesn't happen. Agents and editors are not sitting at their desks, rubbing their hands together as they await their next victim. Nor are other writers trolling the Internet looking for ideas to steal. I mean sure, you can probably find a few examples to prove me wrong. But you can also find examples of people choking to death on water. The point is that the odds are so astronomically low that they don't merit concern.

The sad truth behind this is that it is so difficult to make any money from writing that there's no incentive for theft. We all believe in our work, and cling to the hope that we have the next million dollar idea. But realistically, why would someone risk plagiarizing, only to have to spend a year researching and queryng agents, rewriting the letter again and again as it gets rejected? And that's not even considering how many months of rewrites will follow before there's even a slim chance at publication and an even slimmer chance of making any real money at it.

And one final point. As the author, you automatically own the copyright to your work and have legal protection. So try to relax and not let these fears get in your way.

Instead, worry about the real things ...  Are you creating believable characters your readers will care about? Are your storylines fresh and exciting?  Are your sentences exquisite and evocative? Is there enough coffee, vodka, or red wine in the house to get you through the week? (Water, as you know, can kill you.)

Now get back to work ...

Fresh Hell!

The news today is that I have created a store for wearable Dorothy Parker quotes! Note that each is customizable, so you can choose whatever quote you like and put it on a shirt of any style or color. Click here to check out all the products.

Hope you like these! I had a lot of fun with it.

make custom gifts at Zazzle

Big App Show!

As promised (threatened?) I'm still on hiatus from posting Friday updates, but I did want to share this with you. A few months ago I was interviewed via Skype by Adam Curry (yes, that Adam Curry) about THE OTHER LIFE. The interview is now available for viewing on your smartphone. If you have an iPhone, iPad or Droid, simply go to the app store and download The Big App Show, which is free. Pretty easy to find my interview from there.

It's a cool app in any case, as it lets you preview other apps before buying them.

Meanwhile, the interview is also posted online. So if you want to watch it on your computer, click here.

I hope you'll want to check it out, because Adam is a stellar interviewer. He's smart, earnest, down-to-earth and asks great questions. Also, he really likes my book!

Have a great weekend ...

According to Dorothy Parker ...

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

This Shakespeare-inspired quote is from a photo caption Dorothy Parker wrote when she was working at Vogue in 1915.

For daily quotes from Dorothy Parker, follow her on Facebook.

Hurricane Irene

Buying batteries and battening down the hatches. Stay safe, friends ...

According to Dorothy Parker ...

''Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.'' 

Happy Birthday, Dorothy Parker!

The great wit/writer/critic/poet/humorist would be 118 today.

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Parker.

For daily Dorothy Parker quotes on Facebook, click here. To follow her on Twitter, click here.

2½ minute radio interview

Here's an interview with me that aired on CBS Boston radio. Give a listen!

Temporary hiatus

I won't be doing my Friday updates for a while. Hope to be back soon.

Be well ...
xo

What's your book about?

It's one of the most dreaded questions for writers. And if you ever had trouble answering it, please see my post today over the Girlfriends Book Club blog, 8 Questions to Help You Develop Your Hook.

Friday Update 7/29/11

A rainy Friday, which I guess our poor lawns need here on Long Island. After that scorching heat wave last week the place looks like it's been set on fire. Here's the latest ...

• Finished my revisions on FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER  and sent it off to my editor. That feels SO good. I'm excited to share this book with readers!

• Now I'm ready to get back to work on my next book, which I've been keeping very hush-hush about. Even my agent doesn't know what I'm working on. Guess I should tell her, right? Lol.

• Mysterious. According to amazon.ca, THE OTHER LIFE had a major uptick in Canadian sales early this week. I can't find any media coverage online that might account for this, so I suppose it got a broadcast mention somewhere.

• What a great night! Got together with the Long Island Book Sisters at Saralee Rosenberg's house. Others in attendance: Susannah Greenberg, Susan Henderson, Carol Hoenig, Debbi Honorof, Debbie Markowitz, Alix Strauss and  Vivian Swift. Sending love to Brenda Janowitz, who was very missed!!

• The Open House for Writers on Monday night at Hofstra was a smashing success. It was a chance for students to meet the writing instructors and register for fall classes. These are Continuing Ed classes, and great for anyone who writes. The class I'll be teaching is called HOW TO TURN YOUR BIG IDEA INTO A FINISHED NOVEL, and it will be offered on Sunday mornings in the fall. For more info on that and other classes, click here.

• Another power outage yesterday. If you really want to see a middle-aged Jewish woman lose her sh*t, turn off her lights, computer and air conditioning in the middle of the day when her car is in the shop.

I wish there was some way I could get a divorce from LIPA, but where would I go? Who would take me in? I'm dependent upon the abusive bastard and he well knows it.

Ah, well. Have a good weekend. Stay cool and dry ...

Friday Update 7/22/11

Here's the latest ...

• Last night I took my oldest, youngest and two other kids to see the Harry Potter movie. (The middle one saw it opening weekend with friends.) Crazy hectic day, picking one round of kids up at camp, then another, then rushing to the theater for tickets, then off to a pizza joint and then finally to the movie. I enjoyed it, and the kids, of course, were wild for it.

When it was over, Emma wept, saying it's the end of her childhood. And I guess in a way it is.

• Huge shout-out to Tony Iovino for another great Summer Gazebo Reading event! Thanks, too, to all the wonderful folks who showed up despite the crummy weather.

• Speaking of weather, my car thermometer read 109 today. Seriously. 109. Felt it, too.

• A couple of nice shout-outs from Lisa Kudrow, who was on a press junket for the hilarious and brilliant Web Therapy, which is now on Showtime. Here's the mention in Parade, and here's the NPR piece.

• You can follow Lisa on Twitter. Also fun--follow her alter ego, Dr. Fiona Wallice.

• THE OTHER LIFE is still in the running for Book of the Year from the New Atlantic Independent Booksellers Association. If you'd care to vote, please click here.

• Simply heartbroken over Borders ...

Stay cool, my darlings.

Friday Update 7/15/11

Is it really the middle of July already? That kind of depresses me, especially since I haven't been to the beach yet this summer.

My schedule has been pretty jammed with getting the kids to and from their activities this summer, leaving me little time to get into a rhythm with my work. Right now I'm revising FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER, and while I feel like I have a handle on it, it's hard to carve out the time I need.

No bullet points today, but I do want to give a special shout-out to the gang at Dolphin Bookshop in Port Washington and the wonderful women who came to last night's book talk. A smart, engaging group!

Here's a swell video I found on Agent Kristin's blog. I think you'll love it ...


Plot Device from Red Giant on Vimeo.


Have a great weekend!

P.S. Please join me Monday at the Summer Gazebo Readings! Click here for more info.

Friday Update 7/8/11

I have to dash, so just a couple of quick things on this busy day ...

• Lots of excitement for my daughter this week, who was interviewed for an upcoming Newsday article on Harry Potter, and posed for a photo spread.

• Big thanks to the Phillis Cox at the Jericho Library who organized such a terrific event this week.

• Looking forward to addressing the kids at Hofstra University's High School Summer Writers Program today. Thanks to Debbi Honorof for inviting me.

• Busy busy busy working on the edits for FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER. I can't honestly say I'm one of those writers who enjoys the revision process, but my keen-eyed editor, Rachel Kahan, had great notes that sparked some exciting ideas. So I'm hard at work.

• Special shout-out to my friends enjoying Thrillerfest this week.

• Congrats to my oldest for doing such a great job on his video-editing internship interview!

• This cracked me up--The Office recut as a cheesy traditional laugh-track sitcom:



Enjoy your weekend ...

Friday Upate 7/1/11

Happy July! Yesterday was my darling husband's birthday ... so fun to celebrate with the love of my life! Special shout-out to the Galleria Ristorante in Westbury. The food was extraordinary.

Here are a few other highlights of my week ...

• The other day Mike and I were in the car with our 13-year-old, who marches to her own drummer. The word "cool" came up, and Emma remarked, in a pretty upbeat tone,  "I'll never be cool."

"You're nerd-cool,"  I said.

"But I'll never be regular-cool. I'll be regular-anything. But you know what? I'm okay with that."

What a kid.

• This week I was interviewed by Adam Curry for The Big Show, coming soon to a smartphone near you. It was a lot of fun, and Adam is smart and cute. I'll give a heads up when it's available.

• Wonderful blog review of THE OTHER LIFE from writer Chandra Garza, who said, "The Other Life is spellbinding, captivating and easily one of the best books I've read so far this summer. Meister spins a tale of loss, love and forgiveness that touches the heart and literally feeds the soul." Read the rest here.

• Had a lot of fun at the Women's Fiction mini-conference in NYC, including a stellar presentation on plot structure by Michael Hauge, and a panel presentation by four industry pros, including my brilliant agent, Andrea Cirillo, and her colleague extraordinaire, Meg Ruley. The other panelists, agent Kristin Nelson and Random House editor Shauna Summers, were equally smart, impressive and insightful. All in all, a great day (except that they starved us).

I was sorry my wonderful pal Saralee Rosenberg couldn't make it, but thrilled that Alix Strauss took her place. And a special shout-out to Maggie Marr for pulling off the impossible.

• Got my editor's notes on FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER, so expect me to be very busy working the next few weeks. I probably won't even be answering the phone.

• Last but not least, if you're on Long Island, please come to the Jericho Library this Tuesday, July 5,  at 7pm. I'll be talking about THE OTHER LIFE. Lots of juicy gossip included, free of charge. More info here.

Have a safe, fun, happy Fourth of July weekend!

Friday Update 6/24/11

This was one of those weeks where I wish I got paid by the mile, as I spent most of time driving the kids here and there. Good news is that the school year is officially done--no more finals, regents or classes. And next week I'll be in a frenzy working out the logistics of the summer schedule.

Meanwhile, a couple of tidbits ...

• I was very excited to see that the Image of the Day in today's Shelf Awareness, the big publishing industry newsletter, has some very familiar faces. Do check it out!

• Big thanks to Mari Farthing for posting such a stellar review of THE OTHER LIFE at The Book End Babes. Here's my favorite line: "I’ve read fiction that has entertained me and made me laugh, but nothing that has compelled me to keep reading as much as this book has." Read the rest here.

• My cup runneth over this week, because I also got a rave review from Michele Stefanides at ViewsHound. Thanks, Michele!

• If you're not following my Dorothy Parker page on Facebook, I hope you'll do so today. Just click here and then click "like." I think you'll enjoy the daily quotes from America's greatest wit.

• Shout-out to my darling daughter for cutting her hair yesterday and donating her locks to charity!

Have a great weekend ...

Friday Update, 6/17/11

Sorry I've been such a blogger slacker! We're in that transition between school and summer, and things get a little hectic.

A few quick things to share ...

• Had a simply magnificent lunch yesterday with my Long Island lit pals. Saralee thought to bring a camera (yay!), and so we captured the whole wonderful group ...



Standing, l to r: Alix Strauss, Ellen Meister, Saralee Rosenberg, Susan Henderson, Susannah Greenberg, Carol Hoenig
Seated: Brenda Janowtiz, Vivian Swift, Debbi Honorof


• Oh, Canada! Big thanks to Lisa D. Martinez for posting this glorious book review on Amazon.ca:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Other Life: Simply: Wow., Jun 13 2011

By 

Lisa D. Martinez - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Other Life (Hardcover)

Wow is the first word that comes to mind in respect of this fabulous read by Ellen Meister. I downloaded the sample for my Kindle and I was hooked after the first sentence. I have never ordered a book so fast! 

The voice of this story is the voice of every parent who has ever held their child close and smelled the top of his head. This story is a book for every person who has lost someone close to them or made a decision and wondered, "What if..." 

While most of us do not have a portal into a parallel life hidden somewhere in our basement, every one of us has wondered what our life would be like if we had done things differently. This book is more about choices, love and finding your authentic self than it is about the possibility of a quantum escape-hatch. The sheer realness of Ellen's writing is captivating and evocative, and yes, I cried...I can admit it. Just don't tell anyone. 

If not for my own "real life" sleeping in his crib beside me, I could have easily made the decision to pull an all-nighter and read this straight through. It's that good. 

Am I raving? Just a little. As a writer myself, I tend to read books with a more critical eye than most and this book was, in my humble opinion, very rave-worthy. The author has a way of describing the simplest things that turns them into something spectacular. 

I cannot imagine anyone regretting the decision to read this book. I have officially added Ellen Meister to my list of "Authors Who Inspire Me".



• A special shout-out to LitChat for letting me host a Twitter discussion last week. What a blast!

• Last weekend was the BooksNJ festival in Paramus and it was a smash! Here's a recap.

• If you missed the summer newsletter I sent to my subscribers, you can view it here.

• Thanks to The Laughing Yeti for posting my quote on reading.

• Very excited to see  my cousin Lisa Kudrow interviewed in the Wall Street Journal today about Web Therapy's upcoming debut on Showtime. Great stuff and worth a read! Click here.

Have a wonderful Father's Day and a terrific weekend ...