Monday, August 28, 2006

Applewood goes Hollywood?

You know all those Girlfriends Cyber Circuit authors I blog about? Well, this week it's my turn, and the Girlfriends will be blogging about SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA. I'll try to post updated links as they come along, but here's what we have so far:

  • Martha O'Connor, author of THE BITCH POSSE

  • Julie Kenner, author of CALIFORNIA DEMON

  • Lara M. Zeises, author of ANYONE BUT YOU

  • Jennifer Lynn Barnes, author of GOLDEN

  • E. Lockhart, author of THE BOYFRIEND LIST

  • Kyra Davis, author of SEX, MURDER AND A DOUBLE LATTE

  • Joshilyn Jackson, author of BETWEEN, GEORGIA

  • Tanya Lee Stone, author of A BAD BOY CAN BE GOOD FOR A GIRL

  • Jennifer O'Connell, author of OFF THE RECORD

  • Cindy Cruciger, author of REVENGE GIFTS

  • Sara Rosett, author of MOVING IS MURDER

  • Stephanie Lehmann, author of YOU COULD DO BETTER

  • Melanie Lynne Hauser, author of CONFESSIONS OF SUPER MOM

  • Anne Frasier, author of PALE IMMORTAL

  • Kelly Parra, author of GRAFFITI GIRL

  • Melissa Senate, author of THE BREAKUP CLUB

  • Nichelle D. Tramble, author of THE DYING GROUND

  • Shanna Swendson, author of ONCE UPON STILETTOS

  • Karin Gillespie, author of DOLLAR DAZE

  • Shelia Curran, author of DIANA LIVELY IS FALLING DOWN

  • Megan Crane, author of EVERYONE ELSE'S GIRL

  • Meanwhile, I'm going to treat my own book to the Hollywood theme I've been doing for the others. So here goes ...

    If I had ten seconds to pitch my book to a Hollywood producer, I'd say:
    Three suburban housewives conspire to get a George Clooney movie filmed in their town.

    And here's who I'd cast:

    As Maddie, the emotionally-needy ex-lawyer, I'd cast Amanda Peet. I need someone who can do physical comedy and also be touching. Besides, she's adorable, isn't she?

    For Bruce, Maddie's chiropractor husband, I think Jeremy Piven would be a great choice. He'd be able to pull off the layers, including the coldness Maddie reacts to and the love beneath she tends to miss.

    For Dr. Jack Rose, Maddie's old college friend who tries to seduce her, I'd cast Josh Lucas, just because he looks exactly as I pictured this character.

    Ruth Moss, my brash and bosomy protag, is the hardest to cast. Bette Midler would have been perfect but, as much as I love her, she's a little long in the tooth for this character. And practically everyone else in Hollywood weighs about 87 pounds, which wouldn't work at all for Ruth. My husband thinks Megan Mullaly would be perfect. I think Virginia Madsen or Joely Fisher might be a good choice.

    Keith, Ruth's brain-damaged husband who makes inappropriate sexual remarks to every woman he sees, could be a great fun role. I'd love to see Paul Giamatti or Steve Carrell do this. Can you imagine? Either of these guys would steal the show.

    For modest and timid Lisa Slotnick, who suffers a relationship with an alcoholic mother, Laura Linney would be perfect.

    Maddie's sarcastic friend Beryl could be played by Janeane Garofalo or Rosie O'Donnell.

    And last, but most definitely not least, a certain someone who has still not called to thank me for the signed book I sent him, could do a cameo as himself.

    And now, of course, I have to give myself the same sales pitch I gave everyone else ...

    To see if these actors match your perception of the characters, visit your local bookstore today and pick up a copy of SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA. Or, use one of the links to the right (under profile) to order online.

    Friday, August 25, 2006

    Didn't get your book from Amazon?

    Several people told me they pre-ordered Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA from Amazon during the winter, but never got their book and couldn't even find a record of their order on the site. This mystified me, since most people got their books within a few days of pub date.

    But at last I think I've solved the mystery. Apparently, people who pre-ordered during the winter got a follow-up email from Amazon a few months later, explaining that the book wouldn't be available for several more months, and unless they responded to the email, Amazon would delete the order from their account.

    So there you go. It was no conspiracy against you or me--just a customer service policy at Amazon and an email you most likely missed. Sorry for the confusion. If you still want the book, you can order it again and I'm pretty sure Amazon will send it to you quickly. Also, know if that you want a free signed bookplate, I'd be happy to send you one. Just drop me a line at ellen (at) ellenmeister (dot) com, telling me who to make it out to and where to send it.

    Thursday, August 24, 2006

    Belong to a book club?

    If your book club is reading Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA and would like a speakerphone visit from the author, just drop me an email at ellen (at) ellenmeister (dot) com, and let me know the time and date you're meeting to discuss the book. I'll do my best to call in. I might even be on good behavior, though I can't make any promises.

    Sunday, August 20, 2006

    "You Could Do Better" by Stephanie Lehmann

    Sorry I've been such a bad blogger lately. I've been pounding away against deadline on my revisions for The Smart One, my second novel, and haven't been able to come up for air. But I'm happy to have an excuse today, because it's time for another GCC Does Hollywood entry.

    This time it's the fast and funny You Could Do Better by Stephanie Lehmann. Here's how Stephanie would pitch the book to our fictional producer:

    A curator at The Museum of Television and Radio in New York City tells herself that being glued to the TV counts as research for her job, but the truth is, even though she's looking forward to a future with her fiance, their sex life just isn't ready for prime time. What if she can do better?

    Sounds NC17 to me. And who could argue with that? Here are the sexy actors Stephanie would cast, given her choice:

    Zooey Deschanel (I want to cast her as the lead in all my novels) for my main character Daphne.
    Adrian Grenier for fiance Charlie (though I'm sure Adrian is good in bed, or at least would like to think so), Hugh Jackman for the TV producer.

    Let's go for Shannon Doherty as Daphne's older sister.

    (Note: Searching for this last image was ... er ... interesting. What's with all the naked pictures of Shannon Doherty? I had no idea guys were so hot for her. She's pretty and all, but she hasn't been a tabloid princess for years, has she? Did I miss something? Also, it's going to be interesting to see how many blog hits I get for using the phrase, "naked pictures of Shannon Doherty.")

    You Could Do Better is available at all major bookstores, as well from online booksellers. For more information, visit Stephanie's website, She also has an interesting article posted on Mom Lit.

    Monday, August 14, 2006


  • Goofy fun: Amaztype

  • Hot in the Hamptons! They even linked to my Amazon page. Dan's Papers - Scroll down.

  • Myfanwy Collins: A most generous friend.

  • A funny book by a funny writer.

  • Some sexy (and funny) books by a sexy (and funny) writer.

  • A banner day. Thanks to a kind neighbor for this.

  • A video I can't get enough of: Speechalist

  • Excerpts from Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA

  • A guy I'm still waiting to hear from.
  • George Clooney ...

    ...did not call me this weekend. So of course I have no way of knowing if he got the inscribed book I sent him. But I got this great idea--I'm going to sponsor another contest. Anyone who sees George Clooney reading Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA and sends me a picture gets a really, really cool prize. And that prize is (stay with me, I'm making this up as I go along) ...

    A home-cooked meal ...

    prepared by me (I'm a good cook, I promise) ...

    in the nude, or not (If you're a woman you'll probably want the or not option. In fact, if you're a man you'll probably want the or not option)

    in the Tuscan villa of your choice* **

    Any takers? Email photo to ellen (at)

    *All travel arrangements paid for by prizewinner
    ** Sponsor reserves the right to replace prize with one of the following, depending on whether or not the winner is George Clooney: Large screen TV; $5000 cash; genuine PABA-free signed bookplate

    Sunday, August 13, 2006

    "Secret Society Girl" by Diana Peterfreund

    Time for another ersatz Hollywood look at a Girlfriends Cyber Circuit book. This time it's a dynamic debut from Diana Peterfreund, Secret Society Girl.

    Here's Diana's pitch to our fictional studio:

    A perfectly normal Ivy League co-ed is one of the first female members tapped into a notorious, powerful secret society. Our smart, sassy heroine has to take on society alumni who threaten to destroy those involved in the new guard. It's a funny take on the usual secret society yarn.

    And here's how Diana would cast it:

    I'd probably cast Amber Tamblyn (Joan of Arcadia, Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants) as the heroine, Amy, because she's got a great combination of strength, smarts, and vulnerability.

    Oliver James (Raise Your Voice, What a Girl Wants) has the right look for Brandon, as long as he can pull off an American accent. Maybe Roger Fan (Annapolis) or John Cho (Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle). I love Cho!

    I'd need someone devastatingly handsome, charming, and bad boy for George. Orlando Bloom might be a bit old for the part, but along those lines would be good.

    I'd love Kristen Bell for Clarissa, though she may not want to play a villainess. Still, Rachel McAdams rocked a similar roll in Mean Girls not too many years ago.

    Someone like Shawn Ashmore (X Men) would be good for Malcolm, and then Christian Coulson (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) is exactly who I see every time I think of Poe, so he'd better be able to pull off an American accent.

    Secret Society Girl is in stores now. You can also order it from any online bookseller. For more information, visit Diana's website,

    Saturday, August 12, 2006

    Fabulous, baby

    Today I was on television for the very first time! I was interviewed by Jenny Mayer for the Morning, Noon & Night Show on Plum TV in the Hamptons ... and it was live. I probably didn't rise to the level of fabulous, but I'm relatively sure I didn't make a total ass of myself.

    I was told to be there at 8:15, and was so nervous about arriving late I left myself a ridiculous amount of time to get there--three hours for a one-and-a-half hour trip. Don't' laugh--it's the Hamptons. If you've ever gotten stuck on Montauk Highway in the summer, you know how deadly traffic can be out there.

    So I left at 5 a.m., which meant getting up at 3 so I would have time to shower and fuss with my hair and maybe even change my mind about my outfit. I knew that would leave me little time for sleep, so I told the children I would consider it a personal favor if none of them woke me up during the night. They knew I meant business.

    But I think this warning sent a panic through my dear, darling, diva daughter, whose psyche collapsed at the thought that she wouldn't be able to rouse me in the middle of the night if she was in the mood for a hug. So of course she awoke with a stomachache at one a.m. and refused to stop whimpering.

    The upshot is that my daughter's fine, but I got a little less than three hours sleep, which will affect me tomorrow. Anyway, I bolted out of the house by 5, got into my minivan and pointed it southeast.

    Of course, there wasn't a car on the road and I got there before 6:30, leaving me nearly two hours to kill. So I bought a couple of newspapers in the Candy Kitchen (which, to my disappointment, turns out to be a restaurant and not a candy store). Then I sat in my car and read for an hour.

    At 7:30 I moseyed over to the grassy outdoor area where they shoot the show. Everyone was warm and welcoming and did their best to make me feel comfortable. But I was shaking like a leaf, aggravated by the fact that it was COLD at 7:30 this morning in Bridgehampton.

    I was happy to meet the other guests on the show, including Bryan Boyhan, publisher of the Sag Harbor Express. I pressed him to take one of my books, which he graciously accepted. However, he left at the same time I did, and I couldn't help noticing that he did not have my book with him when he got into his car. Oh well. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he just forgot it in all the excitement.

    By "all the excitement," I mean that the show had a very special guest today. And no, it wasn't me. It was Katie Couric. And what an auspicious time to have her for a guest, just as she's about to take the anchor seat at CBS! But more on Katie in a minute.

    I sat and watched the monitor while the guests before me did their bits. I was especially impressed by the musical group but ack! I can't remember their name. I'll get my hands on it later and let you know, because the singer just about knocked me off my chair and I want you to know about them, if you don't already. (ETA: The group is called Christina Courtin's Running Kicks.)

    When it was my turn, the producer called me up and I was miked. Thank God the thing wasn't sensitive enough to pick up my heartbeat, because it sounded like Desi Arnaz playing Babalu.

    And we're on in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, finger, finger, finger point ...

    Jenny Mayer, the host, is utterly adorable and charming, and made it easy for me to listen to her questions and pretend to be calm. She asked me about the genesis of the story, about using George Clooney, about whether or not the town and the characters had real life models, etc. I think I handled it all well, and am pretty sure I didn't stutter or stammer or say "uh" or "um" while I answered. Then Jenny thanked me and I panicked because I hadn't plugged my upcoming appearances, so I butted right in! "Thank YOU, Jenny, and I'd like to mention that I have some Long Island appearances coming up ..." I gave the dates and locations and my website address!

    Was that professional or ballsy? So hard for me to judge!

    They're sending me the show on DVD, so I'll let you know after I've had to chance to watch it.

    Another thing I'm worried about is that as soon as I took the guest's chair my eyes started to tear from the wind. I didn't want to wipe my face on camera, but I'm worried that my makeup ran. So it's entirely possible I had black blotches under my eyes during the interview. Ugh!

    Anyway, shortly after my segment, Katie Couric showed up. I was determined to give her my book, so I marched right up and introduced myself. I told her I was a new author, and she quickly introduced me to her friend and scurried away while I was shaking the other woman's hand. Poor Katie--I guess I bumrushed her! Still, I was not to be deterred. (When did I get this aggressive?) I handed my book to Katie's friend and asked if she would give it to her.

    After that, I stuck around for Katie's segment, which was quite charming, and then I drove home.

    And now, of course, I'm ready for a nap. Meanwhile, I promise I'll do my best to post a clip when I have it ... unless the eye-tearing left me looking like a Jewish version of a certain televangelist's wife.

    Friday, August 11, 2006

    Hamptonites: See me on TV tomorrow!

    I just found out that my segment for the Morning Noon & Night show is at 8:15 tomorrow morning. That's channel 18 in the Hamptons, Plum TV.

    I'm worried about my outfit. I think I'm going to be overdressed. I have no Hamptons clothes. Woe is me.

    More tomorrow ...

    Catching up

    The beginning of the month was so hectic for me with the release of Applewood, that I never posted the horoscope link. I'll link it now with this caveat: for me, an annoying talking pop-up appeared, despite the fact that my pop-up blocker is on. So either turn down your volume or click at your own risk:

    Astrology Zone

    In other news, my friend Robin Slick will be doing a reading from her new book, Another Bite of the Apple at the Happy Ending Lounge tonight. Should be a lot of fun ... and an interesting crowd. Details here.

    Today I should be finding out what time I'll be on PLUM TV/Channel 18 in the Hamptons tomorrow. I'll be sure to post as soon as I know.

    The other day I was thrilled to send signed copies of Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA to the two crit pals I exchanged chapters with when I was struggling through my first draft. One was Rhonda Gill, my very first writer friend. Every time I think of Rhonda, I'm amazed at the power of the internet. How else could a Jewish housewife from suburban Long Island and a truckdriver from rural Georgia meet and become close friends? The other crit pal was Marcus Grimm, an award-winning writer who blogged about receiving his book.

    As I mentioned in a previous entry, I also sent a personally inscribed copy of the book to George Clooney. So far, he has not blogged about it. I'm sure I'll hear from him as soon as he wraps up Oceans Thirteen, right?

    Wednesday, August 09, 2006

    Tuesday, August 08, 2006

    You, Me and Plum TV!

    Friends! I have my first TV appearance scheduled ... and it's LIVE! This Saturday I'll be on a cable TV channel in the Hamptons called Plum TV. Please, pray to the god of local cable that I don't wind up sweating like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News.

    My appearance will air between 8 and 9:30 am this Saturday on Channel 18. If you're in the Hamptons, I hope you'll tune in!

    Here's a link for the station:
    Plum TV Hamptons

    Monday, August 07, 2006

    Erotica readers ... romance writers ... movie fans

    My friend Robin Slick is one of the funniest, most natural writers I know. And she writes the steamiest damned erotica! Right now, her publisher is offering an erotic short story from Robin for a mere two bucks. The title is "Buenos Noches, Justine," and if you click here, you can order it, and even read an excerpt.

    Robin's also written two books for this publisher, the hilarious and sexy Three Days in New York City and the sequel, Another Bite of the Apple. To order, click here. (Don't be shy--no one's looking. Trust me, you won't be sorry. I'm still trying to clear my schedule to read Another Bite, but I read Three Days, and in addition to being sexy it was a scream. It's hard to make me laugh out loud when I read, but Robin makes me guffaw. Honestly, I guffaw. It's not very attractive--especially if I'm drinking coffee--but there you have it.)

    In other news, HarperCollins is about to launch this very cool interactive program for romance aficionados called Avon FanLit. The idea is that a book gets written chapter-by-chapter by the people participating in the program. You get to write and submit your own entries, and then vote on others. Winning chapters become part of an e-book that Avon will publish. Us writers tend to be kind of reclusive, but here's a chance to be communal without actually leaving our computers. What could be better than that?

    For movie fans, here's a joke my 8-year-old daughter just told me:
    How many movie directors does it take to chance a lightbulb?
    Only one, but he changes it 19 times.

    My inscription to George Clooney

    Here's what I wrote in the book I sent to George Clooney:

    Dear George Clooney,
    This book might just put you on the map.
    You're welcome.
    Ellen Meister

    No doubt, the second he gets it he'll call and offer to fly me out to Tuscany this weekend. At least, that's the way I keep playing it out in my mind.

    I'll keep you posted.

    Saturday, August 05, 2006

    What a week!

    Whhhhhhew! What an exhilarating week it's been! Between getting the mention from Lisa Kudrow on the Tonight Show and my launch party, my head is spinning and it's been nearly impossible to focus. But it's the weekend now, which means my mom duties are in full force, and so I'm coming back down to earth. (Make that scorched earth here on Long Island. The record heat has sucked every bit of moisture from the ground, turning the grass brown and brittle. My flowers look like they were set on fire.)

    Anyway, I want to send along huge thanks to the very generous friends who have blogged about me and my book these past days, including Myfanwy Collins, who devoted an entire week to me (what a friend!), and Patricia Parkinson, who took the time to call me for an interview, and then spent hours transcribing (how generous can you get?). Other friends who helped include:

    Dave Clapper
    Stan Crocker
    Katrina Denza
    Susan DiPlacido
    Mark Ebner
    Pia Z. Ehrhardt
    Ginger Hamilton Caudill
    Melanie Lynne Hauser
    Susan Henderson (tk)
    Richard Lewis
    Political Mama
    Theodore Q. Rorschalk
    Jordan Rosenfeld
    Fred Schoeneman
    Robin Slick
    Erik Smetana

    The only motivation these people had was to do something generous for a friend, and I'm so very grateful and so very touched!

    In other news, I did my first drive-by signings this week, which means I popped into bookstores with pen in hand, found my books (on the new fiction table! yay!), and asked a staff member if it would be okay if I signed them. Without exception, the bookstore folks have been kind and welcoming and generous. Not sure I'm supposed to say which stores I visited, as I don't want to ruffle the feathers of those I haven't gotten to yet. But I do plan on hitting nearly every bookstore in Nassau and Suffolk counties before the summer's over. So if you live on Long Island and want a signed book, drop me an email at ellen (at) and I'll be happy to tell you where you can find one.

    More happy stuff? Last night, for about five minutes anyway, my Amazon ranking was in the five-digit zone. Please, no lectures about obsessing on these numbers! I can't help myself.

    Anyway, I think the temperature is supposed to drop to a crisp 85 today, so we might actually do something outdoors, like take the kids to miniature golf. Have a great weekend!

    P.S. Can anyone tell me why my links are now appearing all the way down on the bottom of the page, and how I can fix it? Thanks.

    Friday, August 04, 2006

    The Morning After

    So ... last night was my book launch party and wow. It was everything I could have dreamed! I got there early with my husband and sister to set up, and what a thrill to see rows and rows of chairs and a rack with 100 copies of my book!

    For the first hour, there was a meet and greet, where we had some wine and cheese and got to chat. I think close to a hundred people came. I did a little talk/reading, and then signed books. My burned finger was adequately bandaged and didn't even hurt.

    Of course, I didn't keep track of how many I had signed, but figured we sold about 50. I was wrong.

    So I think the good folks at Book Revue were pleased. My publisher, too. Me, I'll bask in the afterglow while I do laundry, tidy up the house and make the kids breakfast. And I'll try not stick any body parts into flesh-searing household appliances.

    Meanwhile, a huge cyber hug to all the wonderful family and friends who came last night. Your love and support overwhelm me ...

    Thursday, August 03, 2006

    Book launch tonight!

    Friends! If you're in or around Huntington, Long Island this evening, I hope you'll join me for my gala book launch event at Book Revue. The store is open all day, of course, but my event opens to the public at 8 pm.

    Fortunately, my very burned finger is healing nicely, so I'll be able to sign as many books as you want. Just don't mind the band-aid, okay?

    Hope to see you tonight!

    Directions to Book Revue

    BITCH POSSE by Martha O'Connor

    Today I'm thrilled to be doing my Hollywood blog on Martha O'Connor's dark and haunting The Bitch Posse. Here's Martha's fast pitch to our fictional producer:

    Three high school seniors form The Bitch Posse and encounter various smalltime trouble. Eventually, they’re swept into a violent crime. Fifteen years later, one’s an alcoholic, one’s a sex addict and frustrated writer, and one’s in a mental hospital. What event in their past destroyed them? Can they ever recover?

    Those characters sound intense. I think I'd love this movie. Here's what Martha has to say about casting it:

    Casting this movie presents a challenge since the story exists in two timeframes fifteen years apart. The actresses would need to play both seventeen-year-olds and thirty-two-year olds. This rules out some younger actresses (Amanda Bynes) as well as some older ones (Winona Ryder) who I think would do well in some of the roles.

    As Cherry Winters, the girls’ leader whose tough veneer masks a heartbreaking vulnerability, I would cast Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay has played the America’s sweetheart long enough, and she’s not fooling anyone. Now, it is time for her to show what she’s really made of and take a role where she can be the badass that she is.

    For Rennie Taylor, the wide-eyed, vulnerable, and brainy beauty who falls into a relationship with her high school teacher, I would cast Christina Ricci. When you look at Christina, there’s a certain mystery behind her. She is absolutely mesmerizing. Also, she could pull off a role like Rennie’s which requires a tiny, girl-like build.

    I think Rob Schafer, Rennie’s high school teacher, would be ideally cast as Sean Penn. That’s because Sean has that sinister sexuality which is irresistible. You could just imagine him in this Big Bad Wolf kind of a role. Also, he lives near me, so if he was in my movie, maybe I could take him to lunch and we could hang out.

    Then there’s Puck, the young, vain “literati” author, much younger than the adult Rennie, with whom she embarks on a mad, cocaine-laced relationship. For Puck, I would cast Cody Linley. OK, he is only 17 and I would be accused of cradle-robbing. But, Rennie felt like she was cradle-robbing when she was sleeping with him, so it kind of fits. Besides, he would be 18 by the time the movie was filmed and so he’d be able to do the sex scenes.

    I love the way Martha describes these characters, and am dying to read this book. Fortunately, it's in stores now. It's also available online. For more information, visit Martha's website at

    Wednesday, August 02, 2006

    A plug on The Tonight Show!

    Did you see it? Lisa Kudrow plugged my book on Jay Leno last night!

    She told Jay this adorable story about reading the audio book, saying it was the most challenging thing she ever did. (JAY: "Reading a book was the most challenging thing you ever did?") I was in shock so it's hard for me to remember precisely, but a friend tells me she used the words "funny" and "brilliant." Can anyone verify that?

    She also mentioned we're cousins. If that comes as a surprise to anyone, it's because I've been shy about mentioning it. But it's true.


    D'oh! I can't believe I missed the opportunity to put in a link for ordering the audiobook! There are like six versions of it, but the most popular one--the unabridged audio CD--is buried on Amazon and you really have to dig around for it. (I don't get this. Why do they list the abridged version and the very expensive unabridged library version, but not the one most people want?)
    Anyway, here a link to the unabridged CD version.
    Here's a link to the MP3 version.
    It's also available on cassette.

    Of course, the audiobook is available at your local bookstore as well as other online booksellers.

    Tuesday, August 01, 2006


    It's finally here! Nearly six years after I decided to write about the hopes, dreams, joys, heartaches and desires of three PTA women, Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA is at bookstores everywhere.

    I'm a little too choked up to blog much now, but a couple of friends have taken the ball and run with it. The divine Patricia Parkinson interviews me for The Canadian Writers Collective, and my dear friend Myfanwy Collins is running a feature all week on her excellent blog.

    Thank you friends and readers! I'll weep a bit now.


    Okay, I need to talk a little bit about self-sabotage. Shortly after I posted the above, I was making my kids breakfast and stuck my hand into the toaster oven to extract some waffles, only I SMASHED my fingers into the heating element and got ghastly second degree burns. On my right hand. The hand I sign books with.

    It's now 8 hours after the accident, and the agonizing pain is just starting to subside. Of course, the strong painkillers might have something to do with that.

    I'm kind of hating myself right now. What an idiot. What a stupid, moronic, self-sabotaging idiot I am.

    Okay, no more on this.

    On a happier note, did you know that in addition to this being the release date of my book, it's also the release date of The Comeback on DVD? God, that show was AMAZING! I'm sorry it was too edgy to stay on the air, but I'm thrilled that I can buy the DVD and watch those excruciatingly hilarious episodes again. (I miss Valerie Cherish!) Anyway, here's a link for ordering..