Friday Update 7/30

It must be awfully boring checking in every week and reading about how overburdened I am, but that's my life these days. I can't say I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when I can look at my To Do list and not have an anxiety attack. So that's something, anyway.

But to recap, I was in Massachusetts last weekend, staying with some of my favorite people in the world. Spent the bulk of this week taking care of details for the youngest's bat mitzvah and the oldest's transition plan for the fall. Then my husband's car broke down, and immediately after that I realized my car was due for a NY State inspection. It got a little complicated. And in between I was fielding calls from my agent about a very exciting development I can't yet disclose. Stay tuned!

Have a great weekend. I have to get back to addressing envelopes ...

The missing Friday update ...

Sorry I went so utterly silent. I spent Friday getting to a friend's house in Massachusetts and was then busy playing all weekend. (For the record, they treated me like a queen .. and I'd love them to pieces even if they hadn't!)

Now I'm back to the chaos I've been mired in the last couple of months. Light at the end of the tunnel, I think.

Meanwhile, tonight will be a ray of lovely dusky light. There's a great outdoor reading at the Schoolhouse Green in Oceanside. It's called the Summer Gazebo Reading Series, and I'll be joining Saralee Rosenberg, Brenda Janowitz and Reed Farrell Coleman. Starts at 7 and the weather is great, so if you're on Long Island, bring a lawnchair and come on down. Click here for directions.

That's it for now. Please come back again soon ... lots going on with THE OTHER LIFE and I'm eager to share news as it comes in. For now, please click and "like" the Facebook page for Milk & Ink, an upcoming anthology where women writers (including yours truly) explore the depths of motherhood.

Speaking of Facebook, one last thing ... if you're on the site and we're not already friends, I hope you'll send me an invite! Click here.

Friday Update 7/16

Another chaotic week, most of it too personal or just too boring to share. But here's a very click-heavy list of highlights ...

• Had my sister here with us last week, which was fun. Great to see the nephews! (Hi Austin. Hi Henry.)

• My pal Debbi Honorof, book columnist for Long Island Woman Magazine, invited a group of local authors, including yours truly, to submit summer reading book reviews. You can see the digital version of the magazine here. Click though to page 10 and then click "enlarge."

FYI, my selection was NOSE DOWN, EYES UP by Merrill Markoe.

• My agents sold German rights to THE OTHER LIFE. Great news!

• My friend Robin Slick has a wonderful blog entry about Tish Cohen's new book, THE TRUTH ABOUT DELILAH BLUE. Click it!.

• The newest addiction in our house: THE AKINATOR. Think of a famous person and then click in. It'll freak you out.

• You really must listen to this audio clip. It's a review of my pal Susan Henderson's forthcoming book, UP FROM THE BLUE. I agree with every word this reviewer says.

• So BOOK HAMPTON  has a reading lineup this Saturday from three authors I've actually met. Susan Isaacs is at their East Hampton store at 5. (I'm dying to read her new book and wish I could make this!) Jill Zarin of Real Housewives of NYC is at South Hampton at 5. (We met in an elevator at Penguin.) And Andrew Gross is at East Hampton at 7. (Hubby and I will likely be at that one.)

Have a great weekend ...

Mel Gibson is NOT coming to Applewood

If you're one of my readers, you already know that my first book, SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA, is about three women who conspire to get a George Clooney movie filmed in their children's schoolyard. You might even know that the book was originally titled GEORGE CLOONEY IS COMING TO APPLEWOOD. But you probably don't know that back in 2000, when I first conceptualized the story, George Clooney wasn't the only star I considered using as the object of desire. Indeed, back then he was not the mega-watt Hollywood god he is today, and I considered a number of other equally famous leading men, including Bruce Willis, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise and yes, Mel Gibson.

Can you imagine? In light of recent news (listen to the clip, if you haven't already), the only appropriate book title I can come up with for his name is MEL GIBSON IS A BIG, FAT, ABUSIVE, SOCIOPATHIC, RACIST, PIG IDIOT WHO DESERVES TO ROT IN A FETID CELL.

Okay, I'll shut up now.

Friday Update 7/9/10

Back home after a much-needed vacation. I feel like I've been rebooted. Here's the latest ...

• One step forward and two steps back with the book cover for THE OTHER LIFE. They designed a beautiful cover I fell in love with, but for one reason or another the smart folks at Putnam decided it wasn't quite right for the book. I haven't seen anything new yet and I'm VERY anxious about this.

• The book is now listed in the Putnam catalog, with a placeholder cover. Click here if you want to check it out. I'm excited about the company I'm in!

• Can someone please tell me why on earth Newsday would print this this ill-informed letter from some fool who doesn't understand that there's a difference between anaphylactic shock and allergies that make you uncomfortable? She thinks airlines banned peanuts to be PC. Idiot.

• Our long weekend in Nantucket was glorious. God, but that place is seductive. Big shout-out to by bro and s-i-l for being such spectacular hosts.

• Hard to wrap my mind around how much laundry the trip generated. How does 5 people x 5 days = 4000 pounds of dirty clothes?

• I updated my homepage with new copy. Check it out.

• Do you know what drowning looks like? I sure didn't, until I read this article (thanks to agent blogger Janet Reid)


• Addictive Time Waster of the Week: Think of a famous person or character and click here to play this game.

• Reminder: Are you on my mailing list? If not, please click here and sign up. Thanks!! (Please note that getting this blog via email does not mean you're on my mailing list. Two separate entities.)

• After a month-long hiatus I'm back to work on FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER. I have have ambitious plans for progress this summer. Stay tuned ...

Have a great weekend!

Friday Update 7/3

Due to excessive fun and relaxation, there will be no Friday Update this week. Check in next week for posts and pics.

Have a happy and safe!

Friday 6/25

In the midst of the busiest week of my life--transitioning between school and camp, lining up fall services, prepping for graduation and a bat mitzvah and July 4 weekend away--my first pass galleys landed on my desk for proofing. (They look awesome, btw.)

Meanwhile, the house is a mess, the laundry is piling up, I need to do a food shopping and don't even get me started on my manicure. And have I mentioned I have a sinus headache? So no time for an update today.

Have a great weekend!
xo

A bit of good news ... please read and forward

I sent the following email out to my whole list this week, but apparently it got snagged by a lot of spam filters. Please feel free to copy it into an email and send it to 10 of your friends, per the instructions. Thank you so much!! xo

Since you're receiving this message, you're either on my mailing list or someone wants you to sign up. Either way, I'm offering you the chance to enter a drawing for an Amazon.com gift card. But more on that in a minute. First, the big news is that I now have a pub date for my breakthrough novel, THE OTHER LIFE. Look for it in stores January 20. I know it's a long way off, but I'm excited, especially since it's been getting such great early buzz. You'll see some samples at the bottom of this email. And now for the gift card part. In anticipation of the novel's release, I'm expanding my mailing list and I could sure use your help. To show my appreciation, I'm offering two great chances to win an Amazon.com gift card.* • If you are not on my mailing list: Simply click here to sign up, and you will automatically be entered in a giveaway for a $25 Amazon.com gift card. Once you sign up, you will also be eligible for the giveaway below. • If you are already on my mailing list: Forward this email today to 10 friendsand copy me at author@ellenmeister.com. You will automatically be entered in a giveaway for a $50 Amazon.com gift card! Easy, right? And you really have nothing to lose, as I send out very few emails. Thanks so much for helping me expand my list .... and good luck! Ellen * Offer ends 8/15/2010. If you prefer a gift card from another bookstore, let me know and I'll do my best to accommodate the request.      Early buzz for THE OTHER LIFE ... "Ellen Meister makes a big leap toward the literary in THE OTHER LIFE, a book where "What if" becomes the most powerful question in the world. This is the thinking woman's beach read, a love story to the modern family, written with a deep and lovely understanding of mothers and daughters and the sacrifices they'll make for each other." -Joshilyn Jackson, New York Times bestselling author of THE GIRL WHO STOPPED SWIMMING "Gripping! A truly fascinating story of love, loss, and a magical place in between." -Beth Harbison, New York Times bestselling author of HOPE IN A JAR "Intriguing, stimulating, original, unpredictable, frightening, utterly engaging--THE OTHER LIFE reminded me why I love to read. Ellen Meister is a writer with a limitless future." -Michael Palmer, New York Times bestselling author of THE LAST SURGEON "In her riveting breakthrough novel, THE OTHER LIFE, gifted storyteller Ellen Meister doesn't just peek in on a young mother who straddles between love and doubt, she blows it open with a story of one who straddles two parallel universes, each with its own perilous decisions. It is a brave and honest exploration of the precarious limits of motherhood that will make readers wonder if Meister followed them with a probe and felt their racing hearts and hopes. If you have ever second guessed the biggest decisions of your life (and who hasn't), THE OTHER LIFE is a captivating homage to the question, does love conquer all?" -Saralee Rosenberg, author of DEAR NEIGHBOR, DROP DEAD and FATE AND MS. FORTUNE "THE OTHER LIFE is a provocative and unique tale of the road not taken. Ellen Meister puts a magical, masterful spin on one of my favorite questions: "What if?" What if you took both roads? You won't want to miss this one!" -Sarah Addison Allen, New York Times bestselling author of THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON "I loved this emotional powerhouse of a novel that asks a daring "what if..." and manages to be as charming and funny as it is thoughtful and moving. Brava, Ellen Meister!" -Melissa Senate, author of SEE JANE DATE and THE SECRET OF JOY

Books on the beach

I went to the beach today and took a lovely walk, glancing back and forth between the ocean and the people. As always, I was book nosy, and did my best to see what everyone was reading. Here's my report ...

• 3 Nelson DeMilles ... not surprising, since this is Long Island and he's our most famous author. One was a library copy


• 2 James Pattersons ... ALEX CROSS and what looked like a large-type edition of ALONG CAME A SPIDER


• THE HELP, hardcover


• Two girls were sitting side-by-side reading separate copies of the new Stephanie Meyer book


• A Charlaine Harris paperback


• A man after my own heart was reading Richard Russo's EMPIRE FALLS in trade paperback (my favorite book, fyi)


• Jodi Picoult's VANISHING ACTS


• Emily Giffin (pink cover)


• Matthew Pearl's THE DANTE CLUB


• Only saw two e-readers, which looked like Kindles. It was one couple and they each had their own. No idea what they were reading. Saw NO iPads.


Of course, most of the books were paperback and I couldn't see the covers, so the report's pretty skewed. Note, too, that there were at least as many magazines and newspapers as there were books. And oh, I did see one copy of THE OTHER LIFE by Ellen Meister. My husband was reading it ... in manuscript form.


Have a happy Father's Day ...

Friday Update 6/18

Woosh! What a fast week.

Most of the time I was busy with the kids, carpooling, scheduling, bat mitzvah details, etc. I think I may have written a total of two pages the whole week. Ah, well. I plan to write like a fiend all summer.

• Yesterday I went to a big marketing event for CafeMom, an utterly splendid social networking site for mothers. (If you haven't signed up yet, what are you waiting for? Click here. It's free.) I got to meet the very impressive people who run the show there, and that was a real treat. Also a treat? Getting to meet Lisa Belkin of The New York Times, who I read online and in the newspaper. Here's a link to her bright and insightful MOTHERLODE blog.

Here's a pic. The two women on the left are the oter moms who were invited to event. Not sure if they want their names listed, so I'll keep that to myself for now. They were very impressive women and it was an honor to hang out with them. The woman next to me is Laura Fortner, CafeMom EVP.

In case you don't recognize him, the guy in the middle (below) is actor/director Andrew Shue, one of the founders of the site. And yes, he looks even better than he did in his Melrose Place days.

 

• I'm gearing up for another big push for my mailing list, so if you signed up, keep an eye on your inbox early next week. If you didn't sign up, now's a good time, as I'm doing another gift card drawing and I'd love for you to win. Click here.

• I gotta love NPR. Driving around this week I heard a wonderful story called Alternate Ithaca Tom. Like my forthcoming book, THE OTHER LIFE, it draws on the multiple world theory of quantum physics without getting geeky about it. It's by Tom Weiser and it's hugely entertaining. Click here to listen. It's really worth a few minutes of your time.

That's about all I have time for. Thanks for checking in. Have a wonderful weekend and a fabulous Father's Day ...
xo

THE OTHER LIFE early buzz

I recently announced that I have a pub date for THE OTHER LIFE (January 20), but I realize that I never posted the wonderful early blurbs I've received, so here goes ...

"Ellen Meister makes a big leap toward the literary in THE OTHER LIFE, a book where "What if" becomes the most powerful question in the world. This is the thinking woman's beach read, a love story to the modern family, written with a deep and lovely understanding of mothers and daughters and the sacrifices they'll make for each other."

-Joshilyn Jackson, New York Times bestselling author of THE GIRL WHO STOPPED SWIMMING

"Gripping! A truly fascinating story of love, loss, and a magical place in between."

-Beth Harbison, New York Times bestselling author of HOPE IN A JAR

"Intriguing, stimulating, original, unpredictable, frightening, utterly engaging--THE OTHER LIFE reminded me why I love to read. Ellen Meister is a writer with a limitless future."

-Michael Palmer, New York Times bestselling author of THE LAST SURGEON

"In her riveting breakthrough novel, THE OTHER LIFE, gifted storyteller Ellen Meister doesn't just peek in on a young mother who straddles between love and doubt, she blows it open with a story of one who straddles two parallel universes, each with its own perilous decisions. It is a brave and honest exploration of the precarious limits of motherhood that will make readers wonder if Meister followed them with a probe and felt their racing hearts and hopes. If you have ever second guessed the biggest decisions of your life (and who hasn't), THE OTHER LIFE is a captivating homage to the question, does love conquer all?"

-Saralee Rosenberg, author of DEAR NEIGHBOR, DROP DEAD and FATE AND MS. FORTUNE

"THE OTHER LIFE is a provocative and unique tale of the road not taken. Ellen Meister puts a magical, masterful spin on one of my favorite questions: "What if?" What if you took both roads? You won't want to miss this one!"

-Sarah Addison Allen, New York Times bestselling author of THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON

"I loved this emotional powerhouse of a novel that asks a daring "what if..." and manages to be as charming and funny as it is thoughtful and moving. Brava, Ellen Meister!"

-Melissa Senate, author of SEE JANE DATE and THE SECRET OF JOY

Friday Update 6/11

Oh, this week! This month! I am crazed and chaotic. Here are a few quick highlights ...

• Though the trajectory leading to this point has been clear since the day Max, my eldest, started Kindergarten, I was nevertheless gobsmacked Tuesday night when I realized the next day would be his last as a high schooler.

I won't say anything as trite as Where do the years go?, but for any of you who want a glimpse of what these milestones mean to the parents of a kid with special needs, read this essay by Erma Bombeck. It's one simple page that still brings me to my knees.

• Just about everything gobsmacked me when I turned the calendar from May to June, as I realized there were thousands of details in my life that needed immediate attention. So yes, I got the camp health forms signed, notarized and delivered, I'm almost done with Emma's bat mitzvah list and made an appt. to choose invitations, very nearly got the bus and finals schedule under control for Ethan, planned a celebration for Max's graduation and am still making and fielding about a thousand phone calls a day to get his transition services in line for the fall.

• One of the details that needed attending was my own damned fault. The caterer doing my daughter's bat mitzvah informed me that I had sent in the contract unsigned. Urlgh. Instead of letting him mail it back, I drove over there to sign it, just so that I could be sweet and charming and prove that I'm not a total ditz. No problem, only when I got home I realized I was wearing my cardigan inside-out.

• And oh, have I mentioned that I've been sick? Actually, today is the first day I have no pain in the my throat, so I'm hoping I'm close to a full recovery.

• And my writing career isn't on hold during all this. My literary agent called the other day to say the film agent wants a 2-page summary of THE OTHER LIFE. So in the midst of all this insanity I dashed it off, despite that I have no idea how to pitch for movies or TV. Fortunately, my agent held my hand through it and I think it came out pretty good.

• I don't know how much I'm allowed to divulge, but I'm involved with something for CafeMom that I'm pretty excited about. Suffice to say I'm being interviewed Thursday by a prominent journalist I really respect and admire. I'll provide details next week if I can.

• Weird news story of the week that distracted me from the oil spill: Doctors in France are training dogs to detect prostate cancer. I think that's way cool ... only I can't help wondering how they get them to put on those rubber gloves.

Have a great weekend!!

Friday Update 6/4

Quick quick--so much do to ...

• Big news is that I got a pub date for THE OTHER LIFE. Mark your calendar--it's scheduled for release on January 20.

• Been pretty sick this week, which is a drag since June is pure chaos. A million things to do every second of the day, which isn't easy when you feel like your chest is an aircraft carrier and your sinuses are the Long Island Expressway on a Friday in August.

• Sending love to Alan and Susan and all the other wonderful friends I missed seeing on Sunday. Next year!

• Last week I mentioned that I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advance copy of Susan Henderson's UP FROM THE BLUE. I wasn't going to read it just yet because I'm so damned busy, but I couldn't stay away. And oh my god. My friends, this book brought me to my knees. PLEASE  be sure you put this on your shopping list for September. In fact, don't wait. Pre-order it right now. You are going to LOVE this book. It's being compared to TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD and it really is that good. Here are links to make it easy: amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, borders.com, powells.com, indiebound.

• Love this tribute to Dennis Hopper by EW's Owen Gleiberman.

• In addition to all the hectic end-of-school-year stuff, I've been working on an anthology submission and a book review for Long Island Woman, not to mention a novel. Also trying to fit in a big event for CafeMom, but I'm hitting scheduling roadblocks. Ugh. I need an assistant.

• A whole week with no gym and no running makes me feel like I'm turning into a lump of blubber. I hate this.

• Will I really make it through June?

Have a great weekend ...

Friday Update 5/28

So crazed this week with end-of-the-school year stuff. Way worse than usual as the wonderkid is graduating and we're still working out his transition plan. Here's what else is going on ...

• Last weekend's 5K race to benefit Nassau Suffolk Services for Autism went really well. My husband was nursing a knee injury, which meant he was happy to run at my slow pace, coaching me along. I didn't break any records, but of course that wasn't my goal. All I wanted to do was keeping running straight through to the end, which I did. Big thanks to all who sponsored us.

• Finished the first third of FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER and printed it out to edit in hard copy. So far, so good. :)

• HarperCollins threw a book blogger party Wednesday night, and my pal Susan Henderson was one of the two featured authors. That means I got my hands on an ARC of her forthcoming debut, UP FROM THE BLUE. I can hardly wait to read this book. The buzz it's getting is astounding ... so make note. This is one for your must-read list.

• I was thrilled that the party was held at the Algonquin, as it gave me an additional opportunity to channel Dorothy Parker.

That's a young Mrs. Parker herself in the pearls. Alexander Woollcott, the theater critic who started the Algonquin Round Table,  is seated on the right. The man standing behind her in the light suit is Harpo Marx. If anyone else can identify the two other men I'd appreciate it.

• Pindeldyboz, a wonderful literary e-zine, is shutting down after 10 years. It was one of the first places that published me (remarkably, I'm still proud of the story). Sorry to see it go, but it had a good long run.

• My friend Debra Borden, a wonderful woman and terrifically funny author, sent Oprah an audition tape. I hope you'll click and give her a vote.

• Read a fascinating couple of paragraphs in BusinessWeek the other day about experiments using whipworms to cure Crohn's Disease. Check it out.

• Another season of American Idol comes to an end, and once again the nation proves it values mediocrity over talent. Oh, well. At least I wasn't emotionally invested this time. I leave you with a video of someone who took it to heart (with thanks to Ken Levine for the link) ...



Have a great weekend. xo

Friday Update 5/21

Some crazy schizophrenic weather this week in New York, but it seems like spring might actually have settled in at last.

Here's the latest ...

• Happy for the lovely weather, as tomorrow the whole family is "running" in a race to benefit Nassau Suffolk Services for Autism. I put that in quotes as I might be the only one attempting to break a sweat. The kids will probably walk the whole way, and Mike is nursing a pulled muscle. We'll see ... should be fun in any case.

(That could be actual an picture of me, only my legs aren't that fat.)

• Just want to add that it's a great cause, and I encourage you to make a donation. Click here to donate online.

• Speaking of services for autism, if you're a Long Islander, there are some kids who could really use your help. They need to do some job sampling this summer to learn basic work skills, so if your business is willing to hire some very well-behaved high-functioning autistic teenagers for part time work, please drop me a line. They would be accompanied by aides, and could work for little or no money. Thanks so much!

• Some cool publishing news: my wonderful editor sent along a book jacket design for THE OTHER LIFE and I'm head-over-heels in love with it. I'll post it just as soon as the final version is approved.

• Made my way through the copyedited ms. this week and sent it back to my publisher, along with my acknowledgments. It's all starting to feel so real.

• Just found out I'm having dinner with E.L. Doctorow in September, thanks to my cousins Richard and Lois. Whose life am I living? Surely this can't be mine. Anyway, more on that soon.

• My brother's star as a right wing media darling keeps rising. Here's Stephen Meister's latest: an Op-Ed in the New York Post called THE NEXT DI$A$TER: Federal mortgage insurance.

Back to work, as I've been neglecting Dorothy Parker for too long. Have a great weekend ...

Friday Update 5/14

Here's the latest ...

• Had a lovely Mother's Day with lots of love and spontaneous hugs from the three greatest kids on earth.

• Got my copyedits on THE OTHER LIFE, which is a pretty exciting step. Going through it paragraph by paragraph now.

• Reading a magnificent book right now, THE QUEEN OF PALMYRA by Minrose Gwin. I'm only about halfway through, but it's an exquisite and beautifully told story about the horrors of racism in the South in the early 1960s. Because it's told from the POV of a young girl, it's being compared to TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD. That's quite apt, despite that the girl's father is about as different from Atticus as a character could possibly be. Anyway, when I like a book I want to see it succeed, so it's disappointing this rich and chilling novel doesn't have a more compelling cover. Still, look past it and pick this one up. You'll thank me. (FYI, a great book club read!)


• Speaking of books, this week I was thrilled to receive an autographed copy of NOSE DOWN, EYES UP by the hilarious Merrill Markoe. More on that soon.

• Trying a new experiment over at Publishers Marketplace to see if anyone shopping for movie rights is reading that site. Here's my new page, which could use some clicks. Thanks!

• Today I'm proud to be the featured author at Sia McKye's blog, OVER COFFEE. I'd love it if you'd stop in and leave a comment.

Have a wonderful weekend! xo

Friday Update 5/7

This week went by in about five minutes. Here's the latest ...

• My kid is feeling better, so phew.

• Got a really tough scene written in FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER, which is great, but now I'm stuck in note-writing stage, trying to figure out what to do with the next two scenes. (Pacing is important to me, so while I know what needs to happen in the next big scene, I'm not ready to write it yet. If I could write chapters out of order I could just keep laying down pages, but that simply doesn't work for me.)

• Shout out to my pal Rik who helped my novel research by letting me observe a Kung Fu class and answering my many questions.

• Last Sunday was the Cantorial Concert at our temple, featuring Sol Zim. The junior choir sang a few songs and my dear daughter got a solo. Wonderful concert all around! Kudos to all.

• Finished STILL ALICE by Lisa Genova and it's still haunting me. What a quietly powerful book. This is a hell of a talented author, and I think the review from Publishers Weekly was entirely unfair. Pisses me off. Go read this book.

• Speaking of great books, Andrew Gross's RECKLESS is now on the front table of a store near you. Do check it out.

• Happy to announce that I have a winner from my mailing list promotion. Melissa from Huntington, NY won the $25 amazon.com gift card in a random drawing.

• I leave you with a poem by the mischievous Dorothy Parker, entitled "Portrait of the Artist" ...

Oh, lead me to a quiet cell
Where never footfall rankles,
And bar the window passing well,
And gyve my wrists and ankles.

Oh, wrap my eyes with linen fair,
With hempen cord go bind me,
And, of your mercy, leave me there,
Nor tell them where to find me.

Oh, lock the portal as you go,
And see its bolts be double....
Come back in half an hour or so,
And I will be in trouble.


Have a lovely Mother's Day Weekend ....
xo

Happy Birthday George Clooney!

Born May 6 - Your Year Ahead
You can be a little more temperamental and impatient this year, which can lead to disagreements with others. However, you are also more intellectually stimulated during this period of your life, and projects that require concentration and focus will be especially rewarding. Also, social and romantic relationships are likely to be quite satisfying during this period of your life.


Dear George,

Four years ago I sent you a present. It wasn't to celebrate your birthday. It was to mark the publication of my first book, SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA, a novel about three women who conspire to get a George Clooney movie filmed in their children's schoolyard.

The original title was GEORGE CLOONEY IS COMING TO APPLEWOOD, but you wouldn't give me permission to use your name.

To show there were no hard feelings, I sent you a copy of the book with the following inscription:

Dear George,
This book might just put you on the map.
You're welcome.
Ellen Meister

You never sent a thank you, but give me a call sometime. I have some ideas for how you can make it up to me.

By the way, my birthday is November 18.

Enjoy your day ...

xo

Dorothy Parker on writers

From "The Function of the Writer," Esquire Magazine Symposium, 10/1958:

"To me, there are only two kinds of writers─those who write badly and those who write well. I believe, and it is a sad belief, that any writer, no matter what he puts down, does the best he can─oh, sure, sure, he may write what he calls dashing off something─but I tell you no matter what he writes, it is the best he can. It is the congenital curse of the writer that whatever he writes is the best he can do." ─Dorothy Parker

Hello, IRS? You got some 'splaining to do.

So the IRS sends us our tax refund minus $37, claiming we made a mistake on our return. My husband looks it over and says nope, we're right. They're wrong.

Most people would have let it go, assuming there was either an arcane bit of tax code they were missing, or just too small a sum to quibble over. But not my guy. He stands on principle.

I asked, "Do you think it's intentional? Like maybe they're trying to skim $37 off a few million returns to help trim the budget deficit?"

He laughed. "Even if they stole $37 from a million people, that's still only $37 million. Compared to the budget deficit of over a trillion dollars, that's sort of like you finding a nickel in the couch."

So he called the IRS and got someone who couldn't explain the $37 discrepancy. He got transferred to another person who couldn't figure it out. He got transferred yet again to someone who admitted the IRS had probably made a mistake, but wasn't really sure. My husband insisted on being transferred to someone who had the authority to make the decision.

By this point he had been on the phone forty-five minutes. We were all waiting for him to get off so we could go out for pizza. He finally told us to go without him. "Bring me back an eggplant parm hero," he said.

An hour-and-a-half after calling, he finally got someone who admitted the mistake and promised to send us a check for $37. My husband asked, "Is there a confirmation number you can give me so I can follow up if I don't get the check?"

"No," he was told. "If you don't get it in six weeks, just call us back."

Knowing my husband, he will.

But we'll try to time dinner a little better. Not that I mind bringing a hero home from the pizza place ... it's just that I'd rather walk in with one.